Hippocratic means of or pertaining to Hippocrates
hypocratic is not a word
and hypocritic doesn't apply

I think I'm going to suck his dick.
&
I've never been happier for such a period of time.
&
I'm glad I'll get to keep my title.
&
I'm skipping Homecoming.
&
I'm really glad he'll still make me laugh when we break up.

090508

Yesterday I spent about two and a half hours in school with Dave, and possibly spoke to him for ten minutes tops. However, after school we hung out at his house and watched this horrific horror movie, Screamers. It didn't have a plot, but it did have bad CGI, bad stop-motion animation, and terrible acting. We watched it for about an hour, but decided it wasn't even worth watching. This whole time I had my head on his shoulder. We hadn't even kissed yet that day. It was around 4:30, and because I had to be at band by five we wanted to find something else to do. His mom suggested we walk the dog, and because of the shade and breeze it was a pretty pleasant experience. However, Ruke (rhymes with Duke, I don't know the spelling) refused to do his business and we spent like twenty minutes coaxing him to relieve himself. When we got back I had to grab my stuff and go, but I'd see Dave at the game. The bus ride was fun, the game was good, I had a lot of fun, and screamed my lungs out. Dave rode the band bus home and Mr. DeMarro acknowledged him with sociability. I wanted to kiss him, but I was afraid of chipping a tooth with the turns the bus was taking, so we talked to Christian for some of the trip. Getting back I put my stuff away, walked out to the office with him, we shared our first and last kiss of the day and he left. His mom had been in the parking lot and saw us.

A pretty normal story, but I was told that about an hour and a half after I left his house, Dave's step dad came home and walked the dog. Upon arriving home a little while later, unable to convince the dog to poop because there wasn't anything left, he asked if Dave had walked the dog earlier. Yeah, around five. "Did Chloe happen to be with him?" Yes, where's he going with this? I don't know the exact words, but his step dad discovered a used condom at the bottom of the hill and we did spend twenty minutes out "walking the dog." Neither of his parents believed him. An exact quote from his mom was, "The couch wasn't good enough for you?" The clincher is the first words as Dave got in the car that evening were, "My god, Dave. Haven't you had enough of her in public already?" We spent about six hours together and made out for under ten seconds and that's what I get for it.

Txts I feel bad about posting, but they're so adorable I had to...

Hakuna Matata transcends Disney! It's a legit African phrase! But Lion King is fantastic. Don't think for a minute that this lessens my deliberate disassociation with Walt Disney.
-Dave

Sometime I want a nap in that hammock. I've been tempted to doze off before. It's not particularly comfortable, but it's so relaxing....
-Dave

I'd go starving photographer. But photography pay fairly well as compared to other forms of art, so a more accurate phrase would probably be "uncomfortably hungry photographer." And if it came right down to it, I would totally patronize you. If you weren't already sharing the van with me. :P
-Dave

Haha I thought the same thing but I didn't want to be super lame! You complete me! :D I also heard many Is and Ss.
-Dave, in reference to The Mating Game in Bio where a wolf spider was sending tapping signals which both of us immediately referenced to Morse Code

HEAEH!!!! HE- HE- HE- HEEEAAAEEEHHHH. *creepily* heeeeaaaaeeeehhhh....
-Jeff

I just typed half a text about how I cared about my reputation and then I realized that was dumb and I deleted it. I like the idea of acceptance. And I'd rather be embarrassingly lame with you than 400 megafonzie cool with anyone else!
-Dave

I don't care what people think any more now than I ever have in the past. Probably less actually, because I have everything I cold want at the moment.
-Dave

(Not literally at the moment, because right now I'm at my house and you're at your house...)
-Dave

Haha that's so doable! What did you think I was working toward with that dumb Hopscotch analogy? :P
-Dave

First words spoken upon entering the car: My god, Dave. Haven't you had enough of her in public by now?
-Dave, on Dave's mom*

Fucking sweet! Haha I never knew that rule was mutual! I just assumed it was one of those rules guys made up and then were basically unable to enforce.
-Dave, on "you give one you get one"

Wow, even the date. Ironically, if it was at night, you might have crossed over midnight and into February 19th, my birthday!...
-Dave

*There's a story behind this

Hakuna Matata

I was not scared or worried about these tales of lack of a remorse and attachment. In fact it made me glad I wasn't the only one. At least once a day I've remembered there is a goodbye in our future. But astonished by the fact he picked me only makes every day until then better.

Cyanide and Happiness I'd like to find later

Female Empowerment
Any relationship I may ever have
Super Hero Man
I'd Agree
Disease Joke
For Molly
Damn Bears
It would make sense if he was a girl
The New Yorker
Fuck the New Yorker
PIGS
Power Outage
<3
I'd do it
Again
I've done it
More Cowbell
Violence is sometimes the answer
Protection: Use It
The Powers of Alcohol
Random Thoughts
Sammiches
Which One Will be Me?
He's a Lefty
Yes, yes I should if I haven't already
More Jokes of the Same
Waldo
Not Waldo
The Hitcher
More Female Empowerment
The Majority of AP Chemistry
And this existed before Pineapple Express
Holiday: 4/27
If Only
Almost Happened
Halloween
I'd Deal with This

OH the IRONY

1.	Creeper	629 up, 101 down
	A person who does weird things, like stares at you while you sleep, or looks at you for hours through a window. usually a close friend or relative. you know right away if that person is a creeper or does creeper things. it is not hard to spot the creeper. jeff was the "creeper" in the background This would be the first entry for "Creeper" in urbandictionary. Note the example.

For sale: baby shoes, never worn.

Hemingway's famous six word short story. He distinguishes it his best work. Since then, other authors, particularly sci-fi, have attempted their own of the sort and a few were collected at this website. So maybe some are five words and some are seven, these are my favorite.

From torched skyscrapers, men grew wings.
- Gregory Maguire

It cost too much, staying human.
- Bruce Sterling

Rained, rained, rained, and never stopped.
- Howard Waldrop

“I couldn’t believe she’d shoot me.”
- Howard Chaykin

Despite disorders, jafroed jewboy gets girl.
- Michael Eisner

Thought I would have more impact.
- Kevin Clark

Heaven falls. Details at eleven.
- Robert Jordan

Please, this is everything, I swear.
- Orson Scott Card

whorl. Help! I'm caught in a time
- Darren Aronofsky and Ari Handel

Dorothy: "Fuck it, I'll stay here."
- Steven Meretzky

Will this do (lazy writer asked)?
- Ken MacLeod

English Examples

Pun- “I have Che Guevara on my ‘change purse.” Also note, irony.

Double Entendre- “As a humor tool, it stands erect in the English language.” –Uncyclopedia.org

Simile- “He was grinnin’ like a possum eatin’ wasps.” –Viv/Meg D

Metaphor- "Your mom's a station wagon."

Analogy- “Guys, well they’re sorta like a bottle rocket.” –Jeff Foxworthy

Zeugma- Michael Phelps earned a new Olympic record and Cecilia’s heart.

Apposition- Chloe, possibly the laziest person in the class, had a lot of fun with these examples

Hyperbole- "There must have been about a million bees on my sister's swingset." -Somethingawful.com

Understatement- The Russian Revolution was a mild capitalism retardant.

Euphanism- "Your daughter’s 'finding Nemo, 'ya-yaing the sisterhood.'" –[H]ouse

Allusion- “English, you’ll be good at it! AAAARRRRRGH!” -Powerthirst

Polysyndeton- We biked and sat and stargazed and spoke and didn’t get caught by the cops.

Anadiplosis- “History passed into memory, memory faded with time, and time ceased to matter.” – Matt/Chloe’s best transition sentence ever

Chiasmus- I used to have a lot of space and no wife, now I have no space and a lot of wife.

Exclamation- As waited patiently in ACME — Jiminy! What a scare! — teenage hooligans jumped over baskets.

Rhyme- Purple nurple. Just rhymed the ‘unrhymable.’

Rhetorical Question- Why would you even think of something like that?!

The Grotesque- The Phantom of the Opera

Anachronism- "I am the girl anachronism." -Amanda Palmer

From the Mouth of my Mom

A mildly, awkwardly amusing story from the mouth of my mom.

I recently purchased a roll of duct tape from the dollar store for its infinite uses. Particularly the numerous uses associated with the band room. Upon leaving the store with this as well as our other purchases, my mom turned to me and asked, "You're not planning to use that on Dave are you?"

I laughed, said no, laughed again, wondered why that was the first thing that came to her mind, quickly became very uninterested, and sang along with the radio.

Bob Dylan

I recently took out Greatest from the library, and I've had a lot of fun listening to all of the songs from it.

Go 'way from my window,
Leave at your own chosen speed.
I'm not the one you want, babe,
I'm not the one you need.
You say you're lookin' for someone
Never weak but always strong,
To protect you an defend you
Whether you are right or wrong,
Someone to open each and every door,
But it ain't me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain't me, babe,
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe.

Go lightly from the ledge, babe,
Go lightly on the ground.
I'm not the one you want, babe,
I will only let you down.
You say you're lookin' for someone
Who will promise never to part,
Someone to close his eyes for you,
Someone to close his heart,
Someone who will die for you an more,
But it ain't me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain't me, babe,
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe.

Go melt back into the night, babe,
Everything inside is made of stone.
Theres nothing in here moving
An anyway I'm not alone.
You say you're looking for someone
Who'll pick you up each time you fall,
To gather flowers constantly
An to come each time you call,
A lover for your life an nothing more,
But it ain't me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain't me, babe,
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe.

Trust

Drumline mantra and a tiny little issue I have. I don't trust myself to make other people feel good. Usually I don't consider it, and more often I don't care, but I didn't believe Dave. I hope it's experience and religion that's let me down and not people, because I don't have faith in myself. I wanted evidence and I don't have it for emotion.

Interpreting Dreams and Songs

I dream very often, and remember them with about as much frequency, even if it's only color or movement. However, if a dream is especially emotional or I wake up in the middle of it, I'll remember the plot and details. Zombies frequent my dreams, as do my friends and school.

The first time I dreamed of Dave, before we were dating, I had gone to a party at Jennica's house and nonchalantly made out with her a man supposedly her older brother, Tony W. We had been sitting around a cushioned, low lying table surrounded by laughing people oblivious to us. Laughingly, I walked out of the bright, white room through an open doorway, and Dave was leaning against the adjacent wall to my left. My dream conveyed the emotions better than the look he gave me, but with an expressionless, indifferent face, he was hurt and angry and disappointed in me. Stumbling out of the house and onto the lawn, I discovered myself naked, in a bathrobe, but ashamed of my actions and not my appearance. He walked to the door and slowly shut it on me.

The second time, I was at band camp and being rather cheery and helpful to the freshmen, when Dave and Scott M. showed up with guitars in Tuxedo shirts talking to Mr. Richards. Dave turned to look at me, and I smiled, but he shook his head and averted his eyes.

There have been many other dreams with him, but as a presence and not interacting. Also within the last month have been two significant dreams with Matt in them. I'll finish this some other time.

When I listen to "Backstabber" by the Dresden Dolls, I picture myself as the backstabber. Listening to "The Best Deceptions" by Dashboard Confessional I imagine myself being the giver of the awkward last kiss that tells of other people's lips. I try to take Bright Eyes' advice and "not wonder who may have been me before." I was "Not the Same" after that. If I can't trust, I can't be "Trusted." Oh well.

I don't talk anymore

Next time you see dave, please tell him sorry i never saw him again for a proper goodbye and it was great to hang out with him this summer .....

..... and that if he breaks your heart We'll break his neck =P
-Jeff

Awwwwww chloe, i love and miss you. My roommate and i are running around and getting free things to decorate our room XD makes me think about you =P
- Gina

That was awesome.
-Dave

I take a tip from you as the highest honor anyone can recieve, no matter the amount.
-Matt

Just knowing I was there is good enough. I dream about you a lot. :P
-Dave

I'm Bad at the Discretion Game

If I wanted to post sexy bikini pictures of myself to make an ex jealous, I'd do it in scandalous undergarments. It helps that I want to grow up to be a stripper, but still. I have to stop posting my txts here for fear that Dave will find them and realize that secrets aren't really my bag.

More Txts: Again

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
-Dave

OMG Vicodjgm
-Dave

That could totally work out. I have off on Monday. I don't want to sound greedy or like a hornball, but I feel I can't ever get you to myself. There are always other people >:-\
-Dave

Just kidding. I could not be more happy with who you are. Just keep thinking you're awesome and I'll keep agreeing. :]
-Dave

I haven't been nearly this content in a really long time. you make me so feel so awesome Chloe. I can't explain it better than that. I know I've said it before but you just keep reminding me.
-Dave

Yeah they could've been such dicks if they wanted to be. But I too was thinking that. It was pretty appropriate. They stopped me on Smithbridge and said way to go, and told me to use protection.
-Dave, on cops that met us in BYC

<3 Thank you, for that and everything else you've said and done. I'll most certainly fall asleep with a smile on my face. Talk to you tomorrow, Chlobo. Sweet dreams. xoxoxoxo
-Dave

Nonstasis

I want:

to play in the rain with puddles and friends
to go on a scavenger hunt for the ages
to scream songs in fast cars
to slow dance with David Bowie at ten 'til thirteen
to cry on the shoulders of all my friends in a great big group hug
to find a guy I can run away with
to run away
to discover myself
to wake up in a van at sunrise
to stargaze in the darkness of Death Valley
to swim in every ocean
to skydive
to think about the people I'll always want to run away from
to steal someone's attention
to read beautiful words
to be enlightened and fulfilled at the end of a book
to know someone
to eat ice cream for breakfast and breakfast for dinner
to tell the truth because I care
to lie because I don't want to care
to smoke pot with hippies in California
to ride the rapids with strangers or lovers
to tube down the Brandywine with the pit
to camp with a guy I'll never stop thinking about
to rock out
to save something meaningful to myself
to watch the [S]crubs season finale with someone else who's almost crying
to travel the globe
to bring back dirt from the globe
to kiss a romantic fool
to skinny dip at a bay house in the moonlight
to be in the shooting pulsar
to breathe
to stop breathing because the moment is just right
to listen to good music and great friends
to bawl my eyes out at every graduation
to say goodbye to someone I care about
to regret something
to wind up where I belong

:]

You have every right to high self-esteem. It's a shame to think you might have once upon a time had issues there. I've always known you're smart and this year I found out how funny you are, and I can't believe it took me until recently to realize that you're fucking beautiful. It's an A+ combination.

-Dave

OneSentences

These sentences are my favorites from OneSentence.org

The flutes could only watch the tenor saxophones and trombones brawl, and wish their instruments were bigger.

I stepped on a dandelion and cried for all the wishes that could have come true, if only I had taken the time to walk around.

I knew we were destined to fall in love when she told me she too was a big fan of zombie movies.

When sharing music becomes foreplay, you know you have something beautiful.

Bare feet invite trouble.

I was a Jedi until I got my boobs and then was told I had to be Princess Leia and wait to be rescued.

I wonder every day what it would be like to have achieved my childhood dreams, knowing it's impossible to grow up to be a kitten.

I was developing photos of a party my ex-girlfriend's father had hosted when it occurred to me that if she died, no one would tell me.

My speech actually ended with a mental "Screw you," to all the boys who would never screw me.

I am heart-sick because, like many parents of children with profound disabilities, my most secret and unspoken prayer is "Dear God, please let me outlive my child."

After Livejournal Strikeout '07, I realized that fangirls could easily be mobilized into a killing machine if you told them that the Iraqis took away their Harry Potter porn.

It wasn't until after prom that she told me I was the only guy who didn't bother her by having an erection when dancing with her.

Immediately after losing my virginity I had a vision of one endless sidewalk in summer illuminated by the afternoon sun.

I actually hug trees: Ponderosa Trees are my favorite because they smell of Vanilla mixed with Butterscotch.

Everything we touched turned into cupcakes.

There's a picture of you on my wall and sometimes I feel funny about getting naked in front of it.

Because my mother lost her faith while hiding in a circus during the Third Reich, I was raised a carnie brat, looking for true religion all over the world.

One day, our kids will look through old photo albums and say, "Hey, why did Mom go to prom with you AND Uncle Chris, especially since Uncle Chris likes BOYS?"

I suppose my life would have been different if I hadn't loved being naked when I was home alone, as an adolescent.

I knew I was out of my league when she used 'summer' as a verb.

Everybody always asks of us if we're dating, and it's the worst feeling in the world when I have to tell them no.

My mother, being enraged, screamed "You son of a bitch", to which I replied, "Yes, I am."

I won a plant today because there was a giraffe under my plate.

I decided not to give him my number when he asked "Yo girl, can I getcho digits?!"

The nudity requirement seemed like a fair way to decide who, of the party's 30+ attendees, would get to play the Wii.

A hooker stole my best friend's dog.

HERSHEY

I think I will look back at the Enhancement where Matt and I carved out the word "HERSHEY" in the snow covered hill as my favorite moment of the '07-'08 school year. Better than meeting Ken Jennings or my first kiss or being blacklisted or being the only kid in my math class to realize the merry go round was traveling at 30 mph. It was better than any moment of drumline and despite the freezing wet mess that my entirety became I knew it was worth it then.

Me

I walk on my tip toes, barefoot, night or day, love colorful knee high socks, remember things by what pair of socks I was wearing, and have two pairs of plain black Chuck Taylor's with holes in them. Whenever I get Chips Ahoy Chocolate Chip Cookies I organize them from most chips on top to least on the bottom, I eat the space around the word "CRUNCH" before eating the letters in a CRUNCH bar, I eat M&Ms in pairs of the same color. But not green, and not blue, because green M&Ms are my favorite and the blue ones are magic. Usually neither of my homes have too much food, so I eat a lot of white bread, unhealthy I know. Most of the time I shower in the morning and any chance I have to take a long one I do. Doing anything with my hair except putting it in a pony tail is out of the question. I know I've spent more of my time playing Pokemon games or with the action figures or pretending to train them with my best friend Kristin R. than I will ever spend studying for anything. I give credit to my being an atheist to Jeff, communist to Mr. Trabocco, and anarchist to Dave. I'm only a communist because my 10th grade AP European History teacher called me one and I decided to be the best damn communist he's ever seen. I have inherited psoriasis and almost guaranteed Alcoholism, so I don't want to find out. I've been going to AA meetings while I was still months old. My first and last best friend was Katy C., but she got into drugs and I turned my back on her. When I was in kindergarten I gave my other best friend Gabrielle my stuffed rabbit, Bobeese, that matched my Bobbers, so we could bring them in on the first day of school, but she changed schools and I only saw her one more time. There are three stuffed animals I routinely sleep with. Bobbers, a 1993 Easter Crayola/Hallmark rabbit, Bear, of unknown origin I got for Christmas in 1992, and Bobeese, who is the 1993 Crayola/Hallmark rabbit I bought on eBay to replace the original. I went to preschool at Mr. Jim's and I thought my friend Kevin was lying when he explained to me that negative numbers existed when I was six. My house is over 100 years old with a barn, a walnut tree, a tire swing, and hammock. There are usually at least two tractors, a broken go-kart, and two or three broken dirt bikes lying around the house that my dad may or may not get around to fixing. The driveway hadn't been paved since the early 80s, and then again when I was 15. On the outskirts of my property there's three pear, a cherry, Granny Smith apple, and peach tree. We used to have a large rectangular garden, but the rototiller broke, so there's just grass. When my neighbor got a new truck, they gave us the plastic flatbed coating, and it was my "kitchen" to make mud pies and I was damn good at it. The basement in my house is bare rock and dirt floor, possibly with some dead animals. I didn't know that this was unusual until I was around eight. My room is an addition my dad built, so in some places you can see out of holes in the wall. There used to be birds living in said wall, and the babies would wake me up sometimes, but they were cute. Once we had a sparrow named Braveheart that lived outside and was a female, but would come within one step of us, and a squirrel named Cosmo who would eat peanuts from your hand. There are creepy China dolls and wooden ducks on our bookcase. When I was five I got to go to the rodeo for my birthday, but my brother and I complained too much about wanting ice cream so we left and I still haven't been to one. They separated when my brother was too young to know what it meant, and I didn't realize that us living in a rented house with mismatching furniture was odd until my mom pointed out that every one of my friends lives in a large house in a neighborhood. I hadn't been clothes shopping at a place that wasn't Goodwill or a similar thrift store since 6th grade when I first came to the school. There I met Katie R. and she was my best friend for a long time. We were so silly together and made plans to build a pirate ship and sail her creek. Before that I went to a private Baptist school where I was in a business venture called Quad. L. for its founders. My mom was born in the Netherlands, but my pop-pop refused to be called Opa because it made him sound old. He used to make the best omelets, had a chance to purchase Harry's Savoy Grill, and was the first man to grow banana plants outdoors in Delaware. There were tulips everywhere in his yard and there's a kid on my bus who I think wears the same cologne he did. I don't remember my Oma very well because she died when I was five and the funeral was in Holland, but her name was Lillian and the pictures of her are beautiful. I've never been west of Pennsylvania or out of the country, but I visit a great little place named Ocracoke where the sun sets out of the ocean in front of our screened in porch. When I was four and at my grandmother's I was hit by a car and my mom swears that's why I'm afraid to drive. We used to go on family creeking adventures in her backyard, catching crayfish and catfish and making stories. My aunt Jeanne dedicated a story to me that she illustrated called Adventures in Wuzaland. It's wonderful and every time I was there I'd ask her to tell it to me, even though it got changed a little bit each telling. I joined band in 8th grade because I had a crush on Matt McMinn. I've never looked back, and only that summer regretted it.