I forgot nothing but the feeling

Today I reread my saved texts. Deleted a few. Still not any of the ones from Dave. They're too beautiful and remind me that he's more than apathetic. He does feel, did feel, and I inspired it. I didn't remember what it felt like to get those messages, but I remembered the words.

In career development we keep talking about goals and future careers. I got the same Myers-Briggs test score as Wasiq, Kevin, and Steve G. They said we had long term goals. I know Was and Kev do, but not me. I want to have a goal, but not a job.

"I switched my fake crush from you to Jimmy on Sunday. My offer to make out with you continues, but not the rest of the sexual harassment."
-Chloe, to Big Was

AIM Prose that Became Poetry

I was going to go in the guy's and graffiti there
but I don't know what yet
not poetry
but close
it's not my poetry, btw
it's famous stuff
but not really
because nobody reads poetry
so it's not really famous



*sigh*
I don't belong in garnet valley
I'll find my place
and then I'll walk out of it into the next



I really like people and it makes me sad sometimes that nice people are sad and I don't understand any of it
I feel so young and naive and I don't know why I walk all the time
but I enjoy it
I shouldn't be up this late
but I was writing a letter
and now I'm crazy
er
I have to go to bed

things I wrote on my hand today

in a dark and confusing world, you burn brightly

if you die in canada, you die IRL

T.H. White's MERLIN

Jimmy Carter was attacked by a giant swimming rabbit

I baked them a cake shaped like the internet

Rationalizing the familiar is easy

male inflatableable sex toy $40

Honor Honour Monty Python promote surreal humor humour

What time is it?
Now.
That's a boring answer.
No it's not.
It's the most interesting answer imaginable.

let the poets cry themselves to sleep

meerkats can play rugby

this graffiti is fleeting human contact
both of us lost
but for a moment, lost together
I wonder who you are*

*coming soon to a bathroom stall near you

Perspective

This weekend I have spent a significant amount of my time with people. Friday was probably the best day of 2009 for me so far. Stasi and I started talking on my bus, and didn't stop until we fell asleep sometime after midnight. Our conversation ranged everything from futures and ideals and philosophy and boys and sex and family and memories. It was so easy to talk. It flowed constantly, including while sharing a bowl of mac n' cheese and then two little slices each of cheesecake. I was sad to realize it was the first time I'd ever discussed philosophy in depth, and that I wouldn't feel comfortable speaking with my "closer" friends. We have many similarities, and I think her life is very exciting, if because of its extremes. I am comfortable in my nerdy happy medium, but I have no scars, I have never broken a bone, I've never gotten drunk, and there aren't any exciting boys in my life.

I talked about Dave a lot, bleh, but she really helped me to see the apathy. I knew it was there, he listed it in his favorite things, and I in my least favorites. But I didn't see it applied or directed towards me, despite the obvious. Thanks, Stasi. :]