Stupid, Useful Nightmares >:(

I'm going back to Philadelphia shortly, but I woke up an hour early due to overzealous clock setting. Not putting up with that kinda poo poo, I took care of the morning routine and found time for a little more sleep. During that sleep, I had a dream I forgot all of my ID cards to get back in the building, and my dad was really mad at me. That totally would've happened if I hadn't just dreamed about it happening. Awesome. I woke up from that terrible dream and made a mental note and hit the snooze, 'cuz fuck it if I still didn't have to wake up. During this second dream, I was playing a game of marco-polo with savanna creatures in the watering hole. Oh, and I was also a lion, to keep that in mind. While hiding with another lion behind some rocks, I asked her name. She was also a human-in-animal-disguise, but by revealing my similar status to her, I got turned back into a human playing games with a whole bunch of lions. Playground equipment nearby remained from an abandoned settlement, so I began to climb as means of escape. At the top was a hanging bar and a hanging bicycle whose chain had broken. I got the notion in my head to sit on the broken bike while holding onto the hang bar at the very top of this dangerously swaying contraption. Accordingly, my fear of heights struck in AND there were lions at the bottom if I fell. Then I woke up and put my ID cards in my pocket.

Resolutions (Done)

2009:
Learn to drive
Do a sport

Watch the following films:
Dr. Strangelove
Requiem for a Dream
Apocalypse Now
American Beauty
Braveheart
Alice's Restaurant
Fight Club
American History X
Office Space
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Be able to name and play 10 guitar chords
Bike and walk more
Sneak out at least 3 times
Visit Philly, New York
Set off fireworks
Get "something" pierced
Dye my hair a different color
Try to meet Pete Seeger or Tommy Smothers
Reconnect with Kyle
Practice break dancing, surfing
Graffiti something
Get into a college
Go out for breakfast
Learn to jump safely from heights
Ride a roller coaster
Practice getting over different fences
Design and wear my art
Vandalize a bathroom stall
Think of a senior prank
Be section leader
Ask more questions
Learn to play the electric mandolin

2010:
Go streaking
Become an NPR member
Donate to the ACLU
Build a snowman
Learn how to change a tire
Watch the launch of a space shuttle
Learn to roller blade (backwards)
Go to a protest
Go to college

Read these books:
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
A Streetcar Named Desire

Watch These Movies:
The Sound of Music
Rebel without a Cause

Resolutions (Left to Do)

2009:
Watch an Inconvenient Truth
Get my passport
Learn to ride clutch
Read at least 10 books from my list and A People's History
Get drunk
Practice piano
Watch all of Dr. Who in one sitting
Reconnect with Kristin

2010:
Get a working copy of a Zeppelin and Stones album
Send a letter to Jon Stewart
Start a webcomic
Build a wall mount CD rack
Learn to tango
Learn to change oil
Send a message in a bottle (in progress)
Plant a tree
Sleep under the stars
Learn to juggle (in progress)

Read these books:
Wide Sargasso Sea
Pride and Prejudice
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
Heart of Darkness
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
The Age of Innocence

Watch these movies:
The Godfather Trilogy
Lawrence of Arabia
Singin' in the Rain
Annie Hall
Deer Hunter
Schindler's List
A Clockwork Orange
Good Fellas

Old Hearts, Old Haunts

A Thursday some weeks ago, Jake returned home to visit his girlfriend, Lisa. I'd invited him out to Temple's Got Talent, but jealously commended the excellent evening ahead. Later, after being wildly impressed by the talent at my fair university, Facebook informed me that my friend had been broken up with during his evening home. It hurt to see such a good couple go down, myself in the lingering pangs of self-pity for my illegitimate loss. However, that put me in the right mindset for reading his "I want you back" letter. The sweetness in his rambling, incoherent letter was more affecting for its sense of desperation. Despite the hurt, they are young and in love.

Even though I was in a similar situation, the letter was alienating. It felt so young. I've played the cynic so long it's habitual, and the passion is unsightly to me. How old I feel. I used to wish for that sort of ideal abandon.

Glittens or M'loves: you can't fail with a mitten/glove combo

"It is this on-the-fly fabrication that Nietzsche defines as the artistic essence of humanity, and in casual company, it is otherwise defined as bullshitting."
-Another bullshit essay for a bullshit class


Conceivably, I could make my own rainbow tie.

I made Christmas cards for most of the night.
It's going to be weird/wonderful having a whole bunch of people I can't just hand them to.

Quilty

I cried three separate times watching American History X.



Whenever I examine my life, I see other people. I am a collage of beautiful things other people have impressed upon me. Whatever I admire in someone else, I strive for in my self.

Titles for my "Mosaic" Posts

Truth Exists Beyond Human Consciousness
Dao It All Night Long
Qu'ran and On and On
Gilgameshed with the Bible
Enkidu or Don’t
Destruct-shun
A-tempted
Showmaniac
Rorschocking
How Many Psychoanalysists Does It Take to Screw in a Penis?
The Tickle Finger of Fate
Mixed Media
Linguistic It to the Man
Ocularcentury
Apolojesus
Martyrdumb
Promise-cuous
Keep Your Kierkegaard Up
Buy-ble
Textual Content Warning
My Confessions to the Mosaic Police

Time (Takes Time)

The Broad Street Line (BSL) held their winter concert tonight. It was beyond my expectations, especially as I'd been to every one of their performances except the Eagle's game. Their repertoire was far more extensive than I'd realized, and they'd saved crowd pleasers "Good Girls Gone Bad" and "Forget You" just for this performance. Good Girls Gone Bad was my favorite piece of the night and tremendously done. I don't know why hip-hop seems to translate so favorably to a capella for me. Additionally, they performed two Ben Folds pieces, "Time" and "Effington." I reminisced to Katie R. and Jeff discussing their inability to play Smoke at some party in the D.'s living room. For tonight, I made a sign "I''d Ride the Broad Street Line." Broad Street Line is even in orange, you know, a little shout out to the actual subway. That was a fun ice breaker with the guys, getting them to sign it at the after party. Slightly awkwardly, some alumni also thought it was "classy." While interesting conversation, "they old as fuck."

I don't know what I want. It's not entirely accurate to say I don't want anything, but it's a close approximation. Tonight's shindig wasn't a band party, so I was roughly free to make out with any passing stranger. Not a single passing stranger caught my eye or interest. I targeted Ben earlier in the night, but I just want to make out at a party for the sake of making out at a party. I don't normally have the drunk defense, and the one night I got to use it, I got a creep dancing up on me. That was super short though, to note.

I'm treading a very unfortunate line. I'm being less oblivious to sexual tension than usual, but I think his girlfriend noticed it before I did...