The most fun I've had at the Wilmington Chase Center was when Jeff and I went to meet Matt at robotics and then checked out the Wilmington Health Fair and sat in on a seminar about being young and black.

Firefly

My life will be one flash of bioluminescent light. Maybe nobody will see or remember the flash, and then it's over. Perhaps it will be the first one someone sees of summer. It could be in a jar, as everything else is slowly suffocating. Though unlikely, perhaps my tiny, insignificant life will flash right over the top of some kid's head as they ride their bike and try to remember every summer they've ever had and it will look like a shooting star.

P.S. It's also a TV show I have to watch with Matt

Hurt is the same in past and current tense in the plural.
"My fingers hurt so much."
"Her lungs hurt so much."
"These memories hurt so much."

I miss things I can't explain, like college football or Clockstoppers.

Life is Repeating

I played guitar for an hour and a half. I missed it so much.
I sneaked out of the house last night at midnight and biked to the Darlington Arts Center to relive my memories, partly fulfill my New Year's Resolution, and to collect a sample of the periscope leaf.
I've already heard the things Jimmy is saying. Exactly. I have a record of it in my private blog. When we hang out, I try to avoid sitting in the same positions Dave and I did. I'm creepy and remembering things enables me to act on it.
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close keeps making me cry.
I'm such an emo...
Emo is one of the first slang terms that I distinctly remember misusing and learning. Now it's scene.
It's almost summer again.
I'm having trouble falling asleep again.
Those feelings I put away from me are coming back again.

The Weekend

During my Memorial Day Party, Emily U. invited Jeff to her birthday party, which was June 6th from 8 to 12. They had just met, but it looked like it was going to be a fun night, so Jeff said he would consider driving up for it if he had a place to crash because he didn't really want his parents to know he came up just for that. Finally, June 6th rolls around and I have SATs. I reasoned the shit out of them, but skipped a math problem. :( After that, I took a nap. Jimmy and I had fought that Thursday and we didn't really talk. Justin S. had a grad party from 3 to 8, and I knew it would be awkies, but I knew I was leaving early. Because the internet is exploding at my house, I had to call to get directions. It was very straightforward, almost literally from my house to his. I showed up at 4 and no one was there, including most of his family. Eventually, Abby showed up. We gossiped, played badminton, and had a pretty alright time, considering we were at Justin's awkward grad party. She gave me a ride home before the show in West Chester, because Jeff was still about an hour off. I ate dinner in the downtime. Then, the sunset was so gorgeous and gold, that I climbed on top of the office and listened to music to watch it go down. I started singing Lizzy, and that's when Jeff arrived. He climbed up on the shed with me, and we talked. He thought he could hear the band warming up, but Emily's house is VERY far away for sound to travel. It was because the radio was on in the barn. It was almost dark when we jumped off and headed over to her house. My brother and Shannon were already there. This is the first party we were both legitimately invited by the host. It was weird. The pool was very cold. Kate and I were the first ones to jump in, then quickly into the hot tub. Jack (Emily's little brother) and I had water wars, but had to be careful of not electrocuting the bands. I managed to get Wasiq to commit to going into a pool with me once he finished P-90X. It was a GREAT party. Closer to 11, the remaining cool people, including Emily, went upstairs to her room to talk because of the noise from the bands. It was rather great conversation, and Emily very much enjoyed getting to know Jeff. He didn't make a move on her. She was surprised and delighted. Once a majority of the people were leaving, Emily was required to be downstairs to say goodbye to guests. Luke and Brandon were playing popular hits on guitar. It became a beautiful sing-a-long. I finished a line to Scotty Doesn't Know by myself and then got quiet because nobody else knew the words. Katie played Hallelujah on guitar and we sang along. It was very intimate and wonderful. Jeff and I were hoping to stay later at the request of Emily, but my dad required me home. He asked if that was okay, I said, "No, not really, but I'll abide by your rules." My dad laughed a little. Once Jeff drove me home, he showed me this song and we talked. I got him a sleeping bag; but while we were conscious, we talked on my bed. I really missed him and enjoyed catching up. I think I talked the most, but it felt really good to finally say what I've been meaning to. I'm not used to not saying everything I feel like. We woke up at 20 of 10 because we wanted to go out for breakfast and I had graduation at 11:45. Coffee Station. He had french toast, pancakes, and chocolate milk. I had pancakes. I think I'm going to make chocolate milk now.

"Bad" Things I Have Done Recently

1. Made fun of Hannah
2. Bought pot from my brother
3. Pretended I sent my articles to Lauren. S
4. Lied to Trisha in saying I was completely done our project
5. Wanted to renege my commitment to try to fall in love with Jimmy
6. Became mildly jealous of Gabby I.
7. Cried a single emo tear during UP
8. Had a boy sleep over my house (!) (It was just Jeff)
9. Trash talked Nick
10. Talked all through graduation
11. Called Amanda E. a fat heifer
12. As well, called Jordan L. a cunt
13. Stared at Dave when he played guitar
14. Wondered, "Will I ever have such a lovely, impromptu jam session with such wonderful people again?"
15. Had a boy in my bed from roughly 1 to 3 AM (!) (It was just Jeff again. We talked.)
16. (Sexually) Harassed Wasiq
17. Told Racist Jokes
18. Pretended my phone was on silent to avoid a call
19. Stayed out past curfew
20. Ate dinosaur gummies in the SAT testing room.
21. Spoke about the SAT questions