I'm doing it. I'm going to try for art.

"In the real world, you must wear shoes."

The future feels very near, as if the summer sun will set and rise in autumn again in an instant and my memories won't stick. This summer will never match my perfect summer, but goddamn will I try. Strangely, in looking to the future, it is juxtaposed with the past. Last year I discovered freedom of movement. I can bike or walk anywhere I want. There are planes, trains, and automobiles for everything else. Unfortunately, I never have a destination. It's all for the point of walking. Maybe I'll branch out. As graduation draws ever closer and I'm scared that my grip on Molly is loosening and I will lose her. I know that won't happen, but it's still an anxiety that creeps upon me in the mornings when I am with Jimmy and not talking to her. He wrote me a letter more touching and absolutely heart wrenching than anything ever said about me. Reading it makes me tear up. I simultaneously feel like a good and wicked person. I wrote a reply love poem to Kevin V. in English class, but of course, he wasn't my inspiration. However, he is writing a response to my reply. The school year drawing to a close forces me to look at my preparations for college and lack thereof. My first SATs are in June, I have no SAT IIs yet, and my only As this semester are in gym. The rest are Cs, not even Bs. Hopefully my AP scores will validate me, but I think that all I can hope for are 4s. I didn't get into AP Calc, so I'm taking Topics and art classes. Right now it looks like I won't be in the same classes as the people I've shared classrooms with for 4 years. Maybe bungling my schedule around will manage to get me into the right courses, but somehow I doubt it. My mind has been preoccupied with personal matters and I've been crying a lot. I tear up so easily in this new year. I want to be colder. I miss logic so much. In contrast, I miss art even more.

If the real world requires me to wear shoes, I hope I never wake up from this adolescent dream.

I haven't bear wrestled since August 3rd, the morning everyone + Calculus went to West Chester Diner for breakfast. I missed it.

I remember stupid everything.

e. e. cummings was quoted on itsonlythewind twice today, and it was beautiful, so I look him up on Wikiquote.

Pictures of Walls is my new favorite "hipster" website. I miss graffiti.

I'm going to have a birthday party I have decided.

Next Friday, a good deal of time before prom, I am going to bike to Chartwell to bother the Day twins on their birthday and chill with Kevin V.

His poem was beautiful up until the point where we had to share.

Today is Jimmy and my three month anniversary.

For whom does the bell toll? It tolls for anyone who cares to know the hour. Also, it's only a recording of a bell.

Today was gorgeous.

Strange Things in My Room

Half a baby doll from The Dresden Dolls concert
Water from The Fountain of Youth
USSR Veteran's pin that says "BETEPAH"
Flowers that I've dried
Dancing Lederhosen
Edgar Allen Poe action figure
Jars of dirt
Electric mandolin
Bug vacuum
"Chicken Chucker"
Hedgehog made out of corn husks
Fuzzy diary
M&Ms de Espana
The broken innards of a music box
Train whistle
Record player and albums
Ready made tie-dye bottles
Bag of Alconox with pink ribbon
Untouched neon green shoe laces
Bills from 4 countries, but not the US...

Time Trumpet

BBC has great programming and damn the British for being clever.

[Tony Blair]