Friday, December 19, 2008
Blue M&Ms
I've wasted too much magic in wishing for the reasonable and contradictory. And yet despite my abuses of magical ability, I've had innumerable wishes come true.
Legs?
Mrs. Rock and Abby told me my legs are nice. I didn't know. I wouldn't know. I have no basis for comparison. Girls realize when other girls look nice more so than guys. I don't understand this. Exposed legs remind me of A Christmas Story.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
The Best Lines: A Summary
Wasiq and I are having a lovely Facebook message conversation about why he doesn't have a secret girlfriend or a real girlfriend, and the complications of getting one. The following are the best lines from each message post.
1. The Opening:
...so i know you were anxious to hear the whole deal with the secret girlfriend/girlfriend/having a girlfriend thing
2. The Response:
I'm sure there are plenty of whities who've never been kissed.
3. He Gets My Letter in the Mail
why would write that first sentence on that letter
4. The Defense
Makes secret sleepovers harder
5. The Gasp
i wouldn't be able to keep it a secret for very long lol.
6. The Follow Up Gasp
and...alarm and no windows?
7. The Cold, Hard Truth
It'll be a while before you unleash the Beast from the Middle East.
1. The Opening:
...so i know you were anxious to hear the whole deal with the secret girlfriend/girlfriend/having a girlfriend thing
2. The Response:
I'm sure there are plenty of whities who've never been kissed.
3. He Gets My Letter in the Mail
why would write that first sentence on that letter
4. The Defense
Makes secret sleepovers harder
5. The Gasp
i wouldn't be able to keep it a secret for very long lol.
6. The Follow Up Gasp
and...alarm and no windows?
7. The Cold, Hard Truth
It'll be a while before you unleash the Beast from the Middle East.
8. The Misunderstanding of the Extent of the Innuendo
i would feel really awkward unleashing it with someone else...
9. Correcting the Misunderstanding
Awkward territory, but "unleashing the beast" includes a very wide spectrum of pleasurable activities.
10. The Last Line of #9. was very straight forward
I realized the letter would be summarized as the last line and didn't want you to see that first.
11. Laughter
lol
12. Bang Bang
i was straight up thinking like bang bang bang ba bang bang.
13. Further Clarification
I just meant acting on your physical desires and letting others act theirs on you.
14. The Past
yea we were having conversations at lunch and at one point..i think i referred to "beast" as well...dick.
15. The Cliffhanger
at least not yet. ;)
16. The Tease
Maybe I'll wear that skirt a little more (and then a little less). :O
17. Just Checking
of course i'd go to your funeral!
18. Obvious Statement
We've got some serious usage of the winky smiley face going on.
19. The Entire Summary of the Conversation
...provocative/seductive/quasi-seductive/innuendo/intentional innuendo comments need a winkey smiley.
20. FACT
Plus I always win Never Have I Ever.
Questioning the Contradiction
Dave and I see each other quite a lot in school, though it is under forced academic association and awkward hallway ignorances. Our outward attitudes lean significantly towards indifference and when required, blank attention. However, there are instances I forget that's how I'm supposed to be. If I do not think about it, I honestly feel splendid and tend to show it. Skipping and subtle dance moves occasionally interrupt my walking, laughter and giggling my speech, and repressed smiles my face. Yet on one occasion in particular, I was skipping with delight at the additions to my 2009 New Year's Resolution, and passed his lunch table. I was instantly struck by his nearness and slightly faltered in my step. Should I be skipping in front of him? Does he think this is on purpose? I don't want him to think I've moved on... He shouldn't have noticed, but still. The skipping continued, as did the train of thought.
Monday in Biology, he was visibly and through complaint, audibly, sick. It hurt wishing it was in my appropriate response to bring him Jell-O and Gatorade. Sunday, on solstice, it will have been a month since it became inappropriate. I knew what I was going to get him for Christmas. Hopefully I'll get my song lyrics before the new year begins. If it's not hand written, I don't think it will mean as much. I feel terrible to ask him, but would be scared and subversive to leave a note. Maybe some compromise will present itself. :\
Monday in Biology, he was visibly and through complaint, audibly, sick. It hurt wishing it was in my appropriate response to bring him Jell-O and Gatorade. Sunday, on solstice, it will have been a month since it became inappropriate. I knew what I was going to get him for Christmas. Hopefully I'll get my song lyrics before the new year begins. If it's not hand written, I don't think it will mean as much. I feel terrible to ask him, but would be scared and subversive to leave a note. Maybe some compromise will present itself. :\
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
The Last of the Memories
I've got a fantastic memory for detail. If I am actively experiencing something, not much gets left out. At inappropriate times I get stuck in strange and beautiful memories, sparked by some relevant item of the present. Increasingly, and especially because of other's fears, I had a desire to write them down. Reading them creates a sad nostalgia, but also immense happiness in recapturing the feel of the time. I don't want to lose the paper. It's lengthy and for my own sake.
The first time we ever talked online beyond school stuff was the week of my birthday when everyone was in Hawaii at 1 AM about the excellently horrible horror movie Catacombs.
He gave me the rest of Led Zeppelin IV and most of Farmhouse as an early birthday present.
44/16=2.75, love Dave and Joe
He told me I made him a communo-anarchist.
He made me an anarcho-communist.
I was with him when he took the bandage off his Anarchy tattoo.
Farmhouse was playing when I finally got away from his when he let me win Bearwrestling at my birthday party.
His text tone was Farmhouse until my phone speaker broke.
We walked to Sarah's house and he told me about his neighbor's Sherman Shepherd and secret rabbit. When they went on vacation they had a dead rabbit.
He sang Black Hole Sun and said he knew Chris Cornell's voice more intricately than the ROCKBAND requirements.
I sat next to him when we watched Romeo+Juliet and WANTED. During the previews he narrated a silent Batman preview and we laughed at the people's comments behind us. That night I told him it was hard to keep from crushin' on him, and he agreed.
The night before I left for Ocracoke, at Nicki's RHPS party, he put WIN! make up on me so I won a penis flavored lollipop. He was a fan of my outfit.
He told me to "Dance!" the first time we snuck out and I heard what sounded like Grateful Dead or upbeat Phish and I gave him a button and showed him my doodle summaries and he got a f'real Wawa Strawberry Milkshake and both agreed the machine reminds us of Star Wars. Then we saw the periscopic leaf and he blew his nose on a large be-fungled leaf. I watched the moon set and sun rise and a pentapus in the clouds. I was singing all the way home and "Old Man" as I got in the door, just in case my dad was waiting.
He and his uncle dueted "Wish You Were Here" while he was down Avalon and got sad.
The sunset pictures were beautiful.
He told me he was going to drive back to Bethel and pick me up so we could watch them together. Then hijack a boat.
He graffiti'd our names into some rich guy's recently poured driveway.
We shared a can of peaches at band camp when he made all the instruments I drew instruments of death.
Our first kiss was when we paused Stigmata because he had to go and then I went into my room and listened to "Do You Believe in Magic" and "First Date" as loud as my iPod speakers would go and danced. He was wearing his brown Pink Floyd shirt and I had my Neopolitan outfit on.
I interrupted his "Vatican Discount" graffiti for me so I could take him to my house.
All of our shared graffiti are adorable.
The first time we kissed in the hammock and the day he officially asked me to be his girlfriend, I kept moving my face all around so I wouldn't get goggle faced and he was wearing his "Green City Planning" shirt with the little kid on the back who I said was Banksy.
One of the first times we hung out in the hammock he fell out when I went inside. No matter what planar surface we were on, he would gravitate slowly to the right.
He had a general fear of being hit in the balls by a falling walnut.
He wore Monty Python Boxers and a Tuxedo shirt and a Vicoden haze to Abby's birthday party. He held me around my waist, poured cold water down my back when I was in the hot tub, sang "Never Gonna Give You Up" with Dan and Andrew C. Jeremy told me to give him a Vicoden BJ and on the way home Andrew C. would give one to whoever could named the Metallica song "Nothing Else Matters" before the vocals came on, and Dave almost responded. We kissed in his car.
The second time we snuck out my bike tire was flat. I was shaking because my hoodie wouldn't zipper up and I was excited. He wore the alpaca. We saw 12 shooting stars until the cops came and he told me to roll and lied about his age.
The cops stopped him on Smithbridge and told him to use protection.
The next morning he mis-texted me "Chloe totally wanted to get on my dick last night."
I watched American Pie, which was a lot better than I expected, because he told me the bandee gave him hope for band/non-band integration.
The third time he forgot his alpaca and I was scared the cops knew about the ninja thing when they stopped him at the playground. We were so cold, but stayed long enough to get Dew'd.
The absurd pride and humor of the ninja stopping my instrument with his foot and getting on the roof, followed by the sickening guilt when the cops came.
When he came to visit during band camp wearing the CCCP shirt, Katie said he was goodluck and we almost got him in the pit picture.
Messing with the ducks and geese and skipping stones and Esquire Capelli being an ass at the Grist Mill.
Floridians asking us if we needed help on our walk back to his house.
Super Colossal Shrimp and overly helpful guy and tomatoes from Canada like him because they didn't have E. coli like every other vegetable at that point in the summer. We had Tomato and Basil veggie burgers.
He was watching Future Weapons and wearing the argyle when the Dorans came to pick him up for West Chester Diner. He got fruit salad and balloons. At his house we watched Nuns on the Run and Deathwatch. Then we went to Build a Dream with my balloon and were the most childish people there because we were the first kids at the ice cream truck. He got me a Blue Raspberry ICEE Pushpop for $1.75 and he had Blue Raspberry Soda by C&C maybe? Then it started raining so we watched Men's Gymnastic Olympic Trials at the Wakovia Center from his house. Then we went to Hetty's and Meg stopped fifty feet outside Hetty's neighborhood to ask if we wanted a ride. He thought Jeff asked if we were official yet and felt like an ass for not doing so yet. He complimented Marty Monkhouse's ass for me.
I painted tiny sunflowers on my toenails in acrylic paint when I knew he was coming over.
He made fun of Gina for being pregnant on the Brandywine and talked about geologist's "drinking games involving complex mathematical formulas" and blew bubbles and saw ducks.
On the ride to Penncrest Jeremy said the rule of the bus was "You give one, you get one" [BJ], and I pretty effectively attribute all of our edited shenanigans to that.
Mrs. Glanfield saw him at the Penncrest bus ride and he propositioned the girls outside our bus.
He dibbsed giving first.
I was wearing my tuxedo dress and baggy cargo pants and matching undergarments the first time I came for him and my fists were clenched and I lisped "tuxcess" and he made fun of me for it at the football game I voluntarily went to. He bought me rootbeer and my ticket in.
He pretended to be an outrageous conservative at SPEAK UP! Where he claimed that if we drilled in Alaska and offshore, gas prices would drop under a dollar tomorrow. Joe D. almost agreed.
*Memory posted in secret blog for scandalous details
The second time we went to the Gristmill we crossed over an overgrown railroad track near Pole Cat Road and I was shown where two of his friends suffered near death injuries. We saw two adorable chipmunks I didn't know lived around here. *Rest of memory edited for scandal
We watched Screamers, but it was so terrible we walked his dog and then his parents thought we were fucking outside. He was wearing his blue "Peace" shirt.
When he told me he loved me for the very first time, he opened with "I love spending time with you so much. Anything else can't compare. Someone could say, 'Dude, free trip to the moon.' and I'd say, 'Sorry, I'm busy.'" I laughed, then he said, "Sometimes a laugh is the best response, but I hope I don't get a laugh when I say, 'I love you.'" And I was speechless for near on five minutes thinking of something stupidly, stammeringly cheesy but I just smiled and teared up and I couldn't believe he loved me.
My mom interrupted our first truly meaningful goodbye.
The next week he lent me his alpaca at Abby's bonfire where he sent the green M&Ms down the garbage disposal and I had my realization. The next day we watched the Eagles game together and I wore my green M&M socks to represent my fallen chocolates, but I told him I loved him anyway.
Fire works and Collective Soul and Pirates.
He fell asleep with me on the hammock on October 3rd during the best wordless hour of my life. We kissed, not made out, and I couldn't help but smile and this is my perfect memory.
I loved it when he kissed my forehead.
We spooned in the hammock at one of my bonfire parties.
I almost asked my mom to pray that he could finally surgery on his shoulder, but she volunteered it without me asking. I wish she still was.
I have a ticket stub to see Mama Mia because Pineapple Express was rated R. He couldn't wait with me to get picked up because he was getting a ride from someone else, but it was my first kiss in public. Years from now I will think, "I never saw Mama Mia?"
I also have a ticket stub to see Lakeview Terrace because Religulous was also rated R and he made sure it was on the correct side of the theater. It scared me and I was glad he was there to hold my hand.
I sat in on Squid practice a couple times and in particular, he was wearing his blue "Peace" shirt and played the opening riff to "Creep." I felt like I could sing it to him. He sang.
He came over to my house to hang out and we watched School of Rock and I connived the alpaca off of him, but I really was cold. He warmed my hands for me and it meant a lot. We also read Sign Spotters 2 and he didn't think some were real.
"an A+ combination"
We carved pumpkins. He sleepily carved the tri-force and intercrossed spoon/fork that became spoon/spoon. I had two cats and a moon. He was wearing his Bionic Commandos shirt and then we went out to the hammock and I was mortified. I got stuck in the hammock because Branden made a hole.
He changed the C/Js to indicate whose week it was for dishes to names. The last one was January.
I was so sad to get interrupted during James Bond.
I thought of him when we burned the anarchist on Bonfire Night. He was flattered.
We got extra ribbed even though they "hurt" and I had a hispanic lady as my checkout clerk and Dave got accosted by an old guy in the parking lot.
I'm glad my first time was not in the backseat of his car, but not glad that because of it, it will not be with him.
The voyeur made me laugh and completely relieved the stress.
"I love you so much."
His smell is incredible.
He wrote a song for me and hasn't given me the lyrics as of yet.
The first time we ever talked online beyond school stuff was the week of my birthday when everyone was in Hawaii at 1 AM about the excellently horrible horror movie Catacombs.
He gave me the rest of Led Zeppelin IV and most of Farmhouse as an early birthday present.
44/16=2.75, love Dave and Joe
He told me I made him a communo-anarchist.
He made me an anarcho-communist.
I was with him when he took the bandage off his Anarchy tattoo.
Farmhouse was playing when I finally got away from his when he let me win Bearwrestling at my birthday party.
His text tone was Farmhouse until my phone speaker broke.
We walked to Sarah's house and he told me about his neighbor's Sherman Shepherd and secret rabbit. When they went on vacation they had a dead rabbit.
He sang Black Hole Sun and said he knew Chris Cornell's voice more intricately than the ROCKBAND requirements.
I sat next to him when we watched Romeo+Juliet and WANTED. During the previews he narrated a silent Batman preview and we laughed at the people's comments behind us. That night I told him it was hard to keep from crushin' on him, and he agreed.
The night before I left for Ocracoke, at Nicki's RHPS party, he put WIN! make up on me so I won a penis flavored lollipop. He was a fan of my outfit.
He told me to "Dance!" the first time we snuck out and I heard what sounded like Grateful Dead or upbeat Phish and I gave him a button and showed him my doodle summaries and he got a f'real Wawa Strawberry Milkshake and both agreed the machine reminds us of Star Wars. Then we saw the periscopic leaf and he blew his nose on a large be-fungled leaf. I watched the moon set and sun rise and a pentapus in the clouds. I was singing all the way home and "Old Man" as I got in the door, just in case my dad was waiting.
He and his uncle dueted "Wish You Were Here" while he was down Avalon and got sad.
The sunset pictures were beautiful.
He told me he was going to drive back to Bethel and pick me up so we could watch them together. Then hijack a boat.
He graffiti'd our names into some rich guy's recently poured driveway.
We shared a can of peaches at band camp when he made all the instruments I drew instruments of death.
Our first kiss was when we paused Stigmata because he had to go and then I went into my room and listened to "Do You Believe in Magic" and "First Date" as loud as my iPod speakers would go and danced. He was wearing his brown Pink Floyd shirt and I had my Neopolitan outfit on.
I interrupted his "Vatican Discount" graffiti for me so I could take him to my house.
All of our shared graffiti are adorable.
The first time we kissed in the hammock and the day he officially asked me to be his girlfriend, I kept moving my face all around so I wouldn't get goggle faced and he was wearing his "Green City Planning" shirt with the little kid on the back who I said was Banksy.
One of the first times we hung out in the hammock he fell out when I went inside. No matter what planar surface we were on, he would gravitate slowly to the right.
He had a general fear of being hit in the balls by a falling walnut.
He wore Monty Python Boxers and a Tuxedo shirt and a Vicoden haze to Abby's birthday party. He held me around my waist, poured cold water down my back when I was in the hot tub, sang "Never Gonna Give You Up" with Dan and Andrew C. Jeremy told me to give him a Vicoden BJ and on the way home Andrew C. would give one to whoever could named the Metallica song "Nothing Else Matters" before the vocals came on, and Dave almost responded. We kissed in his car.
The second time we snuck out my bike tire was flat. I was shaking because my hoodie wouldn't zipper up and I was excited. He wore the alpaca. We saw 12 shooting stars until the cops came and he told me to roll and lied about his age.
The cops stopped him on Smithbridge and told him to use protection.
The next morning he mis-texted me "Chloe totally wanted to get on my dick last night."
I watched American Pie, which was a lot better than I expected, because he told me the bandee gave him hope for band/non-band integration.
The third time he forgot his alpaca and I was scared the cops knew about the ninja thing when they stopped him at the playground. We were so cold, but stayed long enough to get Dew'd.
The absurd pride and humor of the ninja stopping my instrument with his foot and getting on the roof, followed by the sickening guilt when the cops came.
When he came to visit during band camp wearing the CCCP shirt, Katie said he was goodluck and we almost got him in the pit picture.
Messing with the ducks and geese and skipping stones and Esquire Capelli being an ass at the Grist Mill.
Floridians asking us if we needed help on our walk back to his house.
Super Colossal Shrimp and overly helpful guy and tomatoes from Canada like him because they didn't have E. coli like every other vegetable at that point in the summer. We had Tomato and Basil veggie burgers.
He was watching Future Weapons and wearing the argyle when the Dorans came to pick him up for West Chester Diner. He got fruit salad and balloons. At his house we watched Nuns on the Run and Deathwatch. Then we went to Build a Dream with my balloon and were the most childish people there because we were the first kids at the ice cream truck. He got me a Blue Raspberry ICEE Pushpop for $1.75 and he had Blue Raspberry Soda by C&C maybe? Then it started raining so we watched Men's Gymnastic Olympic Trials at the Wakovia Center from his house. Then we went to Hetty's and Meg stopped fifty feet outside Hetty's neighborhood to ask if we wanted a ride. He thought Jeff asked if we were official yet and felt like an ass for not doing so yet. He complimented Marty Monkhouse's ass for me.
I painted tiny sunflowers on my toenails in acrylic paint when I knew he was coming over.
He made fun of Gina for being pregnant on the Brandywine and talked about geologist's "drinking games involving complex mathematical formulas" and blew bubbles and saw ducks.
On the ride to Penncrest Jeremy said the rule of the bus was "You give one, you get one" [BJ], and I pretty effectively attribute all of our edited shenanigans to that.
Mrs. Glanfield saw him at the Penncrest bus ride and he propositioned the girls outside our bus.
He dibbsed giving first.
I was wearing my tuxedo dress and baggy cargo pants and matching undergarments the first time I came for him and my fists were clenched and I lisped "tuxcess" and he made fun of me for it at the football game I voluntarily went to. He bought me rootbeer and my ticket in.
He pretended to be an outrageous conservative at SPEAK UP! Where he claimed that if we drilled in Alaska and offshore, gas prices would drop under a dollar tomorrow. Joe D. almost agreed.
*Memory posted in secret blog for scandalous details
The second time we went to the Gristmill we crossed over an overgrown railroad track near Pole Cat Road and I was shown where two of his friends suffered near death injuries. We saw two adorable chipmunks I didn't know lived around here. *Rest of memory edited for scandal
We watched Screamers, but it was so terrible we walked his dog and then his parents thought we were fucking outside. He was wearing his blue "Peace" shirt.
When he told me he loved me for the very first time, he opened with "I love spending time with you so much. Anything else can't compare. Someone could say, 'Dude, free trip to the moon.' and I'd say, 'Sorry, I'm busy.'" I laughed, then he said, "Sometimes a laugh is the best response, but I hope I don't get a laugh when I say, 'I love you.'" And I was speechless for near on five minutes thinking of something stupidly, stammeringly cheesy but I just smiled and teared up and I couldn't believe he loved me.
My mom interrupted our first truly meaningful goodbye.
The next week he lent me his alpaca at Abby's bonfire where he sent the green M&Ms down the garbage disposal and I had my realization. The next day we watched the Eagles game together and I wore my green M&M socks to represent my fallen chocolates, but I told him I loved him anyway.
Fire works and Collective Soul and Pirates.
He fell asleep with me on the hammock on October 3rd during the best wordless hour of my life. We kissed, not made out, and I couldn't help but smile and this is my perfect memory.
I loved it when he kissed my forehead.
We spooned in the hammock at one of my bonfire parties.
I almost asked my mom to pray that he could finally surgery on his shoulder, but she volunteered it without me asking. I wish she still was.
I have a ticket stub to see Mama Mia because Pineapple Express was rated R. He couldn't wait with me to get picked up because he was getting a ride from someone else, but it was my first kiss in public. Years from now I will think, "I never saw Mama Mia?"
I also have a ticket stub to see Lakeview Terrace because Religulous was also rated R and he made sure it was on the correct side of the theater. It scared me and I was glad he was there to hold my hand.
I sat in on Squid practice a couple times and in particular, he was wearing his blue "Peace" shirt and played the opening riff to "Creep." I felt like I could sing it to him. He sang.
He came over to my house to hang out and we watched School of Rock and I connived the alpaca off of him, but I really was cold. He warmed my hands for me and it meant a lot. We also read Sign Spotters 2 and he didn't think some were real.
"an A+ combination"
We carved pumpkins. He sleepily carved the tri-force and intercrossed spoon/fork that became spoon/spoon. I had two cats and a moon. He was wearing his Bionic Commandos shirt and then we went out to the hammock and I was mortified. I got stuck in the hammock because Branden made a hole.
He changed the C/Js to indicate whose week it was for dishes to names. The last one was January.
I was so sad to get interrupted during James Bond.
I thought of him when we burned the anarchist on Bonfire Night. He was flattered.
We got extra ribbed even though they "hurt" and I had a hispanic lady as my checkout clerk and Dave got accosted by an old guy in the parking lot.
I'm glad my first time was not in the backseat of his car, but not glad that because of it, it will not be with him.
The voyeur made me laugh and completely relieved the stress.
"I love you so much."
His smell is incredible.
He wrote a song for me and hasn't given me the lyrics as of yet.
Monday, December 15, 2008
"You've got a big fat terrorist crush"- Viv
I've been flirting with Wasiq and I feel like a skankbag even though I know it's just fo'sho. He's a lot better at it than I thought. There have been multiple uses of the "winky smiley face," but I think he'd look ridiculous doing it in real life. Oh well, I am sad he can't have a real girlfriend. I hope he falls in love with an unbelievable Muslim girl so he and his parents can be happy. Or maybe he'll grow a spine and date a whitie.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Thought I Noticed
Sometimes I say, "I wonder what time it is?" in my head before I check my cell phone to see if I have new text messages so it's not so disappointing when I don't have any. I usually wind up not knowing the time as well.
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