What Would Jesus Think?

I've been hurting, strangled up in possibilities and buzzwords. Some time ago, I recognized that I am the pilot of my happiness, and as result, I'm usually in a good mood and happy and enthusiastic. Still, internal monologue is suffocating that logic and sense of direction. I'm not really sure what will make me happy anymore, and there isn't busy-ness to fill the void and stop the incessant chatter. During the day I'm sane. I'm logical. I know what can and cannot be, and it doesn't hurt. Then I get home, get sleepy, think these half-twisted thoughts about what could and should, reflect negatively on my history of interpersonal relationships.

I'm gonna have some really fucked up relationships. Half by example. Half by personal failings.

I've given up on learning game design. My instructor jumped ship and the internet at my house makes watching instructional videos impossible. Neglecting game design negates the need to learn Java. Wikipedia has no appeal, except in those sparse and beautiful moods. Poetry is simply exotic diction, and I'm hesitant to jump into another book.

As of now, I've gotten to the point where I reach out to two people. I want to blame it on my history, my IQ, my "family issues," when I'm probably just a jerk. I have no desire to talk to anyone else, and I don't know how to get past the trite facades of most teenagers. Even with these two friends, I resent one and am too easily irritated by the other. The latter is purely my own fault, but I neglect to express that she is appreciated beyond any other. I feel guilty, but that's still not taking action to remedy the situation.

Don Hertzfeldt

"You could make a cartoon in crayons about a red square that falls in unrequited love with a blue circle, and there wouldn’t be a dry eye in the house if you know how to tell a story."

Rejected is the third best short film of all time, according to that great and respected authority, imdb.

"I'm feeling fat and sassy."

Highly recommended wiki: Don Hertzfeldt, followed by Rejected.

"it cuts to the next scene; a man with bunny ears walks up to three children, makes a mooing noise, and does as the quote said onto the three children"

Ded-Gifawe

I checked again, willing it to change from a Forever Stamp, but the handwriting was all wrong anyway.

Now that robotics is over, I have nothing but time. Maybe I'll learn a lot. Or walk a lot.

"Loanwords can also be called "borrowings". Although of long-standing usage, neither loanword nor borrowing correctly conveys the meaning, since no words are going to be returned to the "creditor" language."
-Wikipedia

I've got to look for loans shortly.

Mrs. S. commented that she liked my necklace. I said it was from a friend. A friend who is a boy. She noted the lack of naming names. Mrs. K. asked to guess, and damn if she doesn't know everything. I'm smiley all the time, though I wonder if it isn't influenced by Kate's infectious adorableness. It's a waste to be hesitant and nervous about the future, when now is so wonderful.

Augh. It's Depressing Comic Week #4 on C&H.
And I was having a really good week.
I've been all smiley, and almost maybe sorta kinda floaty.

Fun from Saturday

Step One: Find the biggest girl in the venue
Step Two: Jump on her back
Step Three: Ride her like a dinosaur

"the bill: tl/dr"

It's Not a Lusting

There was something serene in today, and a lot of laughter.
Ceramic scratch of metal spoon on bowl of ice cream.
Pink trail of airplane that looks like it's crashing to earth.
That little catch in his voice where it turns over to something rough and sour.
My dad and his easy way with animals, but alienation from people.