Friday, November 28, 2008

End Communication

"Do you have any idea what happened to us? Because it hurts to lie in my bed and know you loved me here and that so soon you were gone. If there isn't an explanation I'll be sleeping shitty anyway, but I can't stop thinking about you. :\"

"I don't know. I just sort of got to the point where I was always irritated about something. I let things get to me I guess."


It did hurt to know that Saturday night he held me in my bed and told me he "loved me so much," and that by Wednesday he would not even say goodnight. But somehow, I'm not as sad as I thought I would be. There are an endless number of adorable or exciting memories I've shared with him, but it doesn't really hurt to think about them. I lied when I said I wouldn't sleep well. I've been having some of the longest, most vivid dreams of recent times. Dave's not in them, or not for long. In two of the dreams I've asked where he was, because his missing presence is noted, but I'm not sad about it. On my walk to Viv's then to Gina's I remembered every time we'd talked or laughed or noted something about the walk, or how I would sing on my way to see him after midnight. And I laughed and smiled the whole time, it was fun. I've actually got some really important memories, some really badass stories about Garnet Valley. Now that I've grown to appreciate the layout, and how close things really are, and how mobile I can be just walking, I realize I've found stunning beauty in Garnet Valley. Now I can sound impressive and wild. At BYC I got picked up and let go by the fuzz. More than once I've snuck out of my house after midnight. And one time, I spent so long in the Darlington Arts Parking lot staring at the stars that I watched the moon set. I've scared ducks and sucked cock at the Newlin Grist Mill. Twice I've gone down the Brandywine on a plastic, inflatable, whale pool toy named Shamu. My friends have a.) rallied my spirits and comforts b.) been a bitch, but that's ok. Other than the fucking up math class thing, it's been a year worthy of '06-'07.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Things That Will Remind Me of Him

Things: alpacas (finished product), tattoos, anarchy, communism, Morse Code, wolf spiders, A+, Vicodin, "smash the state," Blue Raspberry Icee Push Pops, West Chester Diner balloons, a certain constellation, the T9 word doodle/fondle, tree carvings, driveway graffiti, ushankas, ninjas/pirate, flowers, ponchos, guitars, ducks, geese, skipping stones, sneaking out, shooting stars, cops, le parkour, French, Canada, American Pie (movie), Jeeps, the backseat of cars, HERRs plain potato chips, pumpkin carving, cats that look like they have the continent covering their sides, cats drinking out of toilets, STAR WARS: The Force Unleashed, The Ultimate Survival Guide Board Game, purple/yellow sunsets, pink frisbees, internet chat commentators business meeting, T-Rex skeletons, walnuts, acorns, child slavery, the title "Esquire," fireworks, Tuxedo shirts, tuxedo dresses, "tuxcess," Health Guard Pin, the Fonz, and many, many more

Sports: The Patriots, Thursday football, college football, hockey, the Pittsburgh Pirates, The Gymnastic Men's Trials, The Olympics, The World Series

Music: Phish, see Farmhouse (album/song), Secret Smile (song) and Waste (song), Collective Soul, Blink-182, Nirvana, Wish You Were Here, Port Is Head, Grunge Rock, Superunknown (album), Black Hole Sun (song/Rock Band track)

Places: The Hammock, The Grist Mill, the Brandywine Youth Club, the Darlington Arts Center, the entirety of Kirk, the intersection of Kirk-Temple/Smithbridge, West Chester Diner, his dad's house, his mom's house, his mom's neighborhood, Build a Dream Playground, the Brandywine, at least for a little while, Wawa on 202, the place where the sidewalk ends, Pittsburgh, the roof of the school, Riviera Pizza

Movies: American Pie, Screamers, Nuns on the Run, Deathwatch, Midnight Meat Train, Pineapple Express, Religulous, School of Rock, MIB II, Wanted, Romeo+Juliet, Stigmata, Catacombs

Books: The Invisible Man, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Boxers: Monty Python, Southpark, Deer, tie-dye, Mario