Reckless Abandon

I feel vindicated by the pain of someone I don't even know. Somehow I wish I could have served as an example to her, but she wouldn't have known until it was too late. At least I had examples and the strength to follow through.

Facebook makes me feel like I don't have any friends.
Taking only "smart kid classes," makes me feel like I don't have friends.
Abby's blog makes me feel like I have friends and no issues.
My favorite class is Spanish because the people and information is new.
School mornings made me realize I don't mind getting up early, but I hate looking for someone to talk to when I get to my destination.
The smart group that is parallel to ours is really tame, otherwise I would try to get in again.
Looking around the room in Bio during Meiosis, I realized that I am the most vulgar girl, and second most obscene student.
Boys make better friends than girls.
I can physically fight like a girl, but not emotionally.
I don't think Shana likes me very much, but that Abby and Sarah like her more than me.
Even if it's not true, I wouldn't care.
Mr. Trabocco called me a folk hero.
There are a lot of people I think are really interesting, but I don't think know me.
People who know me as a smart kid are always surprised when I tell them I've gotten Ds for two years in a row in academic classes.
It helps me feel like I can relate to them when they can feel they did better than me.
If I was more of a people person, being a drifter would be easy.
Creeking with Nicki was one of the most fun bonding experiences of my life, and I'm sad that I can't do that all the time with everyone.
Some of my favorite time is waiting for Mrs. Frost to finish reading the letters I write her.
I've only ever gotten personal mail from Jeff and my aunts.
The last time I got a postcard I was 11 and it was from my aunt, but I didn't care because I thought she was annoying.
Making people feel special is beautiful in itself.
Knowing that someone took time out of their day to acknowledge your existence as a positive force is nice.
I would give my whole day to that if there were enough people to.
When I check my e-mail and I have 72 letters from colleges telling me I'm the perfect student for them makes me feel better.
When my quote gets featured in thethingswesaid I feel like what I say is special, if not usually very quirky.
If I had to choose one word that describes my entirety right now, I think it would be endearing.
I still check my texts at night as if he sent me one.
Dan Graney puts effort into how he says goodnight like I do.
I try to vary how I say goodnight to people so each experience they get something new and nice.
Molly and Gina's text messages are more beautiful and heartfelt than the ones I got from Dave.
They honestly make me feel like a good person.
I miss all of the random characters I wasn't really close with from the class of '08, like Andrew Z, Dana, Alanna, Dave N, and Zach.
I don't think they ever knew it, but I really liked Steve, Beth, Erin, and Melissa.
Nobody hugs the drum majors like we used to hug Steve and Schlicter.
I really respected Schlicter when she told us that if we ever needed it, she'd pick us up from a party we didn't feel comfortable at or calling our parents.
I'm afraid that the grades below ours are so terrible that Hi-Q and Drumline are going to die.
After my grade leaves, there are only "three" kids in the pit.
The freshmen still haven't been to a party, though I've tried.
I admire my father.
I don't respect my mother on the human level because she's everything I don't want to be.
And that kills me inside.

Stuff

Today: My dad fixed my iPod using magic and gnomes. I feel sexy like Sarah Palin.
Yesterday: Wasiq and I had a scandalous life talk and I txt'd seven people at the same time.
Two Days Ago: Our drumline music is fantastic. While there, I'm out of my head and having fun.

I <3 Flight of the Conchords

It Snowed for Ho'ball

I don't think I should have gone, but I should not have stayed at Hetty's either. The music wasn't good at all, but I danced the entire time, spaced out and inattentive to everything. I'm a follower at dances. I don't have a best friend to freak out with and don't want to bump 'n' grind with boys. When Sandstorm came on, I threw myself into a pit and stupidly forgot it was the only one. I wound up jumping with my back to his. When we realized, perhaps unintentionally because of restricted movement, or perhaps on purpose to show that it really was ok, we did not move and kept jumping. It felt ok. I felt ok. I'm going to try to speak again, but it may be hampered by my straggling memories.