Thursday, May 5, 2011

Flight v. Invisibility

It was a busy year. It's not that things were unpleasant, but there were times I had to force myself through it. My future has always been envisioned at the tempo of my dad. He moves at a purposeful pace. I picked up so much, but nothing with meaningful quality, not even gardening. That'll take a little more devotion before it is truly a part of me. I'll take things slowly in Italy. Yes, I will learn, but it's not an attempt to learn as much as possible. My mode of ambition has been, "I want to be something." Not, "I want to become something." Whatever thing I will enjoy "becoming," that's what I should pursue in life.

The innocence of Chloe, the lack of awareness, was broken recently, and it is unsettling. I feel insecure for the first time in memory, despite the encouraging world around me. I'll move slowly and observe and listen for a bit. Purposefully.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Jesus Does a Book Tour

Last night, I buckled down to finish my criminal justice essay. I passed up an opportunity to beach party and got down to research. At midnight, Ben texted, wondering if he could take my peanuts to the "study day" celebrations. Realizing this is the last week of college, I internally screamed, "fuck this paper!" and went with them. Matt, Steve, Ben, and I hung on the beach, confused as to where the party went. We later convened with Kira, Gab, and Amaury, talked a bit, parted ways, then hung out in my room until four. Hells yeah, fuck that paper. I fell asleep with the Christmas lights on.

Last night, I went out to get noodles with TCG in place of our regular meeting. We took the Market-Frankfort from York-Dauphin because we were already at Urban Roots. Because of a series of unfortunate events, we almost missed the Reading Terminal Market, but the six minutes afforded us were enough for Kira to get a Mother's Day present. The tiny noodle place had $3 mysterious peanut noodle. They were the best noodles I've ever had in my entire life. Nan Zhou Hand Drawn Noodles at 9th and Race. Wow. Unfortunately, I had to eat them on the run, because at 6:27, I got a text reminding me of work at 6:30 down below Federal. Shit. I'm in my flip-flops, ran off too stupidly to remember Gab had all my cards and money, and am eating noodles. It was poor planning. Despite that, I finished the noodles around Market and ran (in flops), the rest of the way (~a mile and a half). I was disgustingly sweaty and warm, but I suspect that aquarobics and zumba paid off. There's no way I could've made that run beforehand. Return to TU at 9:30, I so desperately wanted to live in Philly over the summer. It was perfect warm for a tank top, and some trees had white Christmas lights in them.

"This week, a princess got married and the bad guy died."

The year went fast.
The people are good.
The work wasn't hard.
The learning was real.
The city is real.
The nights and days are real.
The friends are real.
The life is almost real.