It was a busy year. It's not that things were unpleasant, but there were times I had to force myself through it. My future has always been envisioned at the tempo of my dad. He moves at a purposeful pace. I picked up so much, but nothing with meaningful quality, not even gardening. That'll take a little more devotion before it is truly a part of me. I'll take things slowly in Italy. Yes, I will learn, but it's not an attempt to learn as much as possible. My mode of ambition has been, "I want to be something." Not, "I want to become something." Whatever thing I will enjoy "becoming," that's what I should pursue in life.
The innocence of Chloe, the lack of awareness, was broken recently, and it is unsettling. I feel insecure for the first time in memory, despite the encouraging world around me. I'll move slowly and observe and listen for a bit. Purposefully.
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