Moby-Dick Jokes

If a guy came on to me using a nerdy pick up line, I would be positively responsive. With the right personality, even a terrible pick up line isn't an immediate turn off. However, if I'm not immediately aware it's a pick up line, then I'm taken a little off guard. "Have you ever had a kid?" What? No, I'd like to keep my vagina intact for a couple more years. "Well I'd love to spend 9 months inside you." While slightly off putting, I missed him

In English class, we took the best Moby-Dick test ever. It had nothing to do with plot, themes, or major motifs, but boy, what a unifying force. The whole thing was short answer, no essays. Glancing over the first sheet, I turned to Kira with an "Oooooh, shit!" face. Dropped jaw, bug eyes, the works. Thankfully, she returned a similar look of stupefication, so I was not alone in having no clue. Immediately, I skipped to the second page and fell into a deeper spiral of "WTF." It was the kind of test, where it was possible Mrs. A had made up a question that had nothing to do with the book, waiting for someone to call bullshit. However, none of us read the book. Even if most of the other girls had, I'm fairly certain they don't have the balls to call her out on it. Reaching the end, I calmed down, took a breath. Surveying my entire, encompassing knowledge of Moby-Dick, I could legitmately answer maybe five questions. Luckily, the only thing that keeps me in AP classes is my ability to bullshit. My religious upbringing makes it possible to relate every single question on symbolism to Biblical themes. Hallelujah Almighty. I answered all but two questions. Afterwards, we were a collective of wild gestures attempting to relate our absurd and profound expressions of ignorance and disbelief. I'm fairly positive by the time fourth period rolled around, her other AP class was very, very aware of the titainous and awesome mystery they were about to face.

"Thar she blows!"
"Whale ho!"
"This whale doesn't bite, she swallows."
"He was my passionate bed fellow."

One of the Discussion Questions for Moby-Dick was, "Throughout the novel, it is as though Ahab is trying to conquer something besdies the white whale. If you agree, why or why not, and what is he trying to overcome?"

"It is generally regarded as the bigger the truck, the smaller the penis, I guess the same thing could apply to whales. Of course, I made plenty of dick jokes about this book, so that is probably why that jumped to my head. However, extrapolating on that... whales are really big and phallus shaped. They also have the world’s biggest penis and Melville seems to really, really like talking about them. Humans are imperfect and impure, Ahab was pretty darn close to perfection in his obsession, except he could never be a whole human being and the whale would always prevent him from being pure. He was trying to conquer his own insecurity (and small penis).

My Head Is So Busy and It's Not Even Sunday

[The dawn is breaking]

The first time I encountered "college ruled" paper:
"I'm not smart enough to be in college! I'm not ready for this!"
Now, I don't know what "regular ruled" loose leaf is known as.
I dislike it.
I'm ready now.

{ but then I think...

"no I'm not}

Stab is not a word that sounds like its meaning.
It ends in a very soft B sound with your lips together.
Cut is much harder.

Split ends. If it wasn't for hair and fiber optics, I could think it's a good thing, a branching off, a new division, a separation of fates.

I wish I'd never sent that letter, but what a waste of a blue M&M.

I save PostSecrets. Only the meaningful ones. The ones that make me cry, or the ones I could've written. One, that I saved from this week, I misread. It was only one letter substitution, and I thought I'd found a fellow soul. Now, I think it's cliche.

I'm consciously aware of my over-usage of the word "just."
It's very limiting. It denies all connotations and accessory motives.

Kisses lost their meaning, right?
That feel of breaking morning light?

[Now you've gone and broke it forever]

Philophobia

"...But it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life."

It's astounding
how far one can fall

Tonight,
I realized I don't know what it means
"to be over someone"
I've moved on (I guess)
(Why all these prepositions)(about him?)
(over him)
(with him)
(on him)
(inside me)
(before him)
I don't think about "him"
I can't think when I see "him"
However
It's the same for every boy I've loved
(I suppose)
How ever can this be



[ o||%|> ]

(canned bee)
(cannitbee)
(canitbe?)
(really?)
(E)

Words for Men and Boys

I don't know who you are. I miss the boy who loved me. I can't remember what color your eyes are.

Sorry, I've always tagged along and you hurt me, so farewell.

I am mixed up in our regards. I don't know what anything means or if it has a meaning at all. I'll just wait, even if I'm terrible at it.

I don't like your stories, but Stasi speaks well of you.

Treat her well. She deserves it.

Thank you for supporting her, even if I don't like your petty alliances.

You are a better addition to a party, but not by much.

I'm sorry I can't harass you anymore. I'm not going to be in drumline.

This Romanticized idealism has to stop, even if I can't keep parallel with Kira.

I'm disinterested, but available.

You're interesting, but boring in text.

I'm glad you write.

Stay safe. Please.

You have stars on your ceiling. I miss when I idolized the boy who loved flowing water and flying things.

You're hot and philosophically awing, but I have my loyalties, oddly enough.

I wish we'd been better friends before and can be in the future. Being with you is pleasant, and I get to admire your idealized lifestyle.

Good luck next year. I am going to miss you oodles.

Good luck next year and the year after. You're a good kid and will be a better man.

I say things for you. Out loud, so that you can wonder about me. Comic books and LotR? Who is this girl?

I am perplexed by the why of this relationship, but that's not what it's about. Don't hurt her.

Uh... she's totally not what you described...

Man, you're my favorite (*wink* at Rose)

You're so alive. Please don't destroy it with heartbreak and recklessness.

Maybe you're a lil' creepin', but I still like who you are and will be proud of your grown up self.

I love you.

I Wondered What It Would Be Like to Bomb Your Houses

And for all your fiery brilliance, you cannot see your warmth and passion being conducted away into the uncaring and empty void that encloses your figure.

Today, I wrote a volunteered letter to the girl I have obligated myself to serenade. I will be singing "Whatever You Like." I don't know all the words, but I do have a boom-box.

Girls are notorious, for leaving secret messages in song lyrics, whether as status updates or music selection, and I still don't think it's common knowledge. They always want you to read deeper into the meaning, "Take the whole mood and tone of the song into account." Sometimes, it's just an accident. They were suddenly struck by a line and went, "Oh, goodie!" For sad songs, it's usually not the case.

Nearly everyone I know has a particular song that reminds me of them. Obviously, other people also have these associations. I feel intrusive when I attach a person to a song and believe someone else has already developed that intimate association.

There is a story about an Italian noble who had a prodigious art collection, but there was one piece that was housed behind curtains for the majority of its existence. It was controversial. It was offensive to the senses despite its meaning. Guests who knew about it understood why he had the good sense to keep it covered. Yet, when giving tours of his art collection to these critics, he would lead them to the curtains, full of mystery and anticipation. You see, the curtains weren't there to hide the piece, but to reveal it. For now, I have a green silk bathrobe from Victoria's Secret to make my curtains.

[Edit: Oh my lord, there is someone who understands echopraxia on OneSentence. Beautiful.
[Edit, edit: "I say now, that while there is a lower class, I am in it; and while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free." This is one of my favorite quotes, and it's by my favorite socialist, Eugene V. Debs. It was the Wikiquote of the day. Just sayin'.]]

Talk, Sex, Nemesis

"I want to be a part of something, not apart of something."
-Stasi, damn girl

"I don't really take something for truth unless I discover it myself."
-Chris

"Be water."
-Bruce Lee, via Gary

Intimacy. We talk about it, and in that, we create it.

Flaws:
arrogance
-intellectual elitism
-scorn
-exclusion on intellectual terms
obfuscating
ignorance
-close mindedness on certain issues
emotionally detached
-insensitivity
-brutal honesty
-causing unnecessary pain
jealousy
-occasional persecution complex
socially awkward
emotional/rational duality
impatient
inappropriate
sexual indifference and promiscuity
attention seeking
judgmental
proud

There's no reason to list my good qualities. The list would be much longer, and I believe my talents are, as a whole, more obvious.

Three nights ago, my dream was of sexual violence.
Two nights ago, my dream was of sexual anxiety, trauma, and fear.
One night ago, my dream was of a gorgeous autumn field.

Ohio is a fantastic song. Not many verses.

On that note (ha), I made a rockin' playlist and can't wait to share it.
I'm out of blank CDs.
:(

Singing, screaming, same thing. They serve the same release.

Things to Remember

Rimbaud- I embraced the summer dawn.- what a sad poem to fancy myself the dawn
Is it in these bottomless nights that you sleep, in exile
I found I could extinguish all human hope from my soul.
Baptism enslaved me.
I who fashioned myself a sorcerer or an angel, who dispensed with all morality, I have come back to earth.
The only unbearable thing is nothing is unbearable
mondegreen
the Wikipedia article of the Colonization of the Moon had fascinating links
I haven't read non-classic non-fiction in such a long time

Questions to No One in Particular

When did I start thinking in disconnected sentences? When did I start crying all the time? When did Matt and I stop being friends? Why is it so awkward to get a ride home? Why do I want to cry whenever I get out of the car? Why did Molly and I fall apart so completely? Why does that Valentine's Day feel so far away? When do people learn how to make friends? How did I miss that part of life? When will the trees be totally without leaves? If a president got divorced and remarried while in office, would she be the second First Lady? Why do I have three copies of the same poster in varying sizes? When am I going to finish watching Firefly? Why do I feel guilty about watching it with AJ instead of Matt? Why is sexual liberation lonely? Sometimes, thinking about the next generation, I wonder, "What could they possibly do to shock and offend my generation." I think they're all going to be conservatives. "Annie, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay, Annie?" Why has everyone in my family been hit by cars? Why does my mom have to clean this filthy house? Why has my mom had such a shitty, shitty life? Why I am so terrified of ending up like her? Why is my life so blessed? Why is there no better word than blessed? Who is the person who left their library receipt in the book I took out? Why do I wish Sarah lived farther away, so that walking to her house to apologize would hurt more? "Why he do dat?" Why haven't I been able to get strings for my electric guitar? Why do I keep calling my electric acoustic mandolin an electric mandolin? What would that even sound like? Why is my room absolutely perfect (besides the temperature)? Why this petty persecution? Why am I so interested in touching? Why don't I run away? "Which would you rather be, the person that you hope to be, or the person you fear you already are?"

For all my lonesome, I have no regrets.

Know1ng (not the Nicholas Cage movie)

As Big B once explained to me, there are four types of knowledge:

Known knowns: the things you know you know
Unknown knowns: the things you don't remember you know
Known unknowns: the things you know you don't know
Unknown Unknowns: the things you don't even know are possible to know

"The more I learn, the more I learn how little I know." Until very recently, I couldn't really figure out how this quote worked. Obviously, Socrates was a wise and educated philosopher, a giant among men. However, even established philosophers probably bullshit out their ass sometimes. Suddenly, I got it. Wikipedia was absolutely the catalyst for this epiphany. Praise be to the internet. The thought that struck me was, "Holy shit. I never knew this concept existed. Oh my gawd. There are bajillions of thoughts I haven't thunk! Ideas I've never come across before." And with that, my universe expanded, even if I couldn't see most of it.

As a snot-nosed, know-it-all teenage punk, I was, and still am to a slightly lesser degree, conceited. Oh, how I scorned the ignorant who had not sense to look around them. Fools, who did not realize their mortality put limits on the amount of time and amount of material they could learn. Bah. While that's an extreme exaggeration, I continue to get frustrated when kids in "upper level" classes do not live up to my expectations of the course requirements. In my self-absorbed, elitist appreciation of knowledge, even though I think I know "a lot," I realize there is a hella-lot more information I cannot conceive of. Despite the arrogance, I strive to continue the expansion of my knowledge. When an unknown unknown is forced into the realm of a known unknown, I can and will say, "I don't know, but I can find out."

This is not to say I think ignorance is necessarily evil. While I wish everyone could throw off the shackles of their ignorance, I know that most people will never be exposed to certain concepts, and I don't expect them to. Very little "knowledge" is relevant or necessary to daily life. Even in a professional occupation, the scope of understanding is usually confined to that particular field.

PS. "The more you know, the less you understand." I still don't really get this one. Also, Smash Mouth said something similar, so I'm a little biased.

PPS. Unrelated but awesome: Make your conscious act your conscience act.

Things On My Hand & Other Observations

transgressive
Amor Omnia Vincit
Bellocq
Code Noir: art 18?
invidious consumption
Danni: (WS(J)GGS)
the curtain was to reveal the painting, not to hide it

My new insurance kicks in today!

There are times when I am more brutal than honest.

It felt good to not let Shana put down Emily without calling her out.

Stasi's Halloween party was otherwise very fun.

It's not about the people who will always be "there" for you. It's about the ones who will come and get you when you can't get "there." Thanks, you guys.

I'm not seeking forgiveness, but there will be an apology.

On that note, I rescind these other apologies.

However, I would like to extend a retrospective apology to Nicki on how terribly awful her senior year show was. At least drumline made up for some of it?

I'm fairly awesome at impromptu speeches.

I can go for my license Nov. 5th.

I will not be going for my license on Nov. 5th.

Whenever I mention a specific date from last year, I don't mention that I remember because I was dating Dave.

Whenever I share a Dave related story in English or Psychology, I wonder if Brianna knows I'm talking about him.

Occasionally, I think about how my perspective of him has evolved from 6th grade to 12th.

Today, I watched A Prairie Home Companion. I'd seen it before, but it made me cry this time.

During my recovery from illness, after I'd slept for two days straight, I woke up to find my family had installed in our home a George Foreman Grill.

The George Foreman Grill is AWESOME.

"Hata's just jealous."

I don't like referring to Jack and me + Parent as family. It would mean we have two different families, even if I know it's more true.

Yesterday into today was some of the best Wikilinking in a loooong time.

My most defining feature is my love of learning. I can imagine a possible life for myself in changing every other aspect of my life except this one.

A cumulative pit history from my point of view is slowly taking shape. I want to include commentary from everyone.

Multifaceted. That word has so much possibility.

Senior Skip Day Monday!

I have a story to write about my mom and me, but it's personal.