Newton's Third Law: F- Society on Girl (Girl Pushes Back)

I used to giggle and turn away when he made eye contact with me.
Now there is just turning away.
What a shame.

"Women's virtue is man's greatest invention."
There is a certain sadness to sexual enlightenment. My body is a biological miracle, to maintain functioning for more than a minute, let alone seventeen years. Fantastic and horrendous visions from my imagination can never match the awe of human contact or the ecstatic pleasure derived in processes I do not understand from single cells working together to create some intangible heaven I cannot express.

"Rose is a rose is a rose." Human beings do not live by that simplistic mantra of simplistic existence. A body is not a body, and a body touching another body is a completely different matter entirely. For a girls, it seems simple enough to give pleasure and accept pleasure. In modern society, it's difficult for a man to restrain a woman from using her body as she sees fit. To do so would be illegal, ignoble, and nothing any modern woman would stand for. And yet, this patriarchal ideal of virtue has been so long ingrained, that women turn against each other. Women hold each other to inhumane standards of moral purity, resulting in a choice between satiating a physical, biological desire, or preventing pariah status. Even after liberation, there is social stigma in the words "slut" and "whore." We've set in place bureaucratic rules of restraint and silly head games that prevent any straightforward interactions between men and women. I still complicate things for myself by reverting back to this mundane system. If something is as straightforward as "it feels good and I am kind," I subject myself to moral interrogation. I do not allow myself to contentedly accept well-being and happiness.

TAL #374: Somewhere Out There

There isn't just one special person for everyone. If things don't work out with my current interest, I'll just find another. There's probably 10,000 people out there I could fall blissfully, eternally in love with. It's a small number, in comparison to the 6.5 billion other human beings on this planet. Still, from the other side, no man will ever need me. There's not much I have to offer, in terms of uniqueness. Every other woman on the planet has a body, quite a few speak English and are in the right age group. Even of those women, a lot of them are pretty smart, pretty funny, or regular ol' pretty. If things don't work out, there's nothing to lose but me, and I'm replaceable. In memories of a shared past, there's no substitute. But for the future, it could be anyone.

I'm No Hero and You're No Beauty

Like fraternal sons of New Jersey, The Gaslight Anthem is all nostalgic rivers and road trip spirits. Listening to either Springsteen or these Jersey punk rockers makes me dream of summertime and being alive. Even though I'll legally be an adult, this summer is a last vestige of childhood, getting in the last of the not gottens. Though swearing to it now will have no use, I vow to never waste wakefulness, except in the hammock and under the stars. There are stories waiting to be made in that still-warm nighttime.

Never Have I Ever

After robotics today, there was a party at an alum's house. Besides the road there being very circuitous, and the ride back being even worse, it was an entirely enjoyable evening. Actually, even the car rides were really fun with Matt and Trisha. Tim's (the alum) basement was perfect for parties, minus a strobe light. He had surround sound stereo, at least six black lights, two ceiling mount disco ball lights, foosball, ping pong, air hockey, and two of those giant work out balls that really don't make any sense except to be awesome and take up space. His mom made us a real dinner, with teriyaki steak, ham, potatoes, broccoli, corn, carrots, and orange slices. Upstairs was Wii MarkioKart and Mario SmashBrothers. As the party wound down, we got to playing Never Have I Ever, count down from ten. I lost the game. Not by a very large margin, but none the less. Unless it has to do with alcohol, travel, certain exotic activies, or going to restaurants, I pretty much corner the market on lewd, illicit, and generally adventurous activities.