Friday, January 13, 2012


I'm not sure if I like traveling yet. It motivates me to appreciate otherwise mundane things, like residential architecture and street trash but is exhausting and expensive. This is alleviated, in part, by my skill of bus sleeping, but there's only so many hours I can handle jiggling in my sleep.

Free- 9/14, 9/15/09

"Burns life into anxious hollows"

This poem captures a far off summer, a season of adventure.

My summer felt a fiery hazy
Of when I belted out Amazed
In snuck out car with snuck out friend
And borrowed things not mine to lend

Of rafting down the Brandywine
And blessed a prayer with Jewish wine
In nature and that gallery
I lost and loved, respectively

Free- 9/16/09

He told me he wants back the time when he loved me innocently. Mathematically, in the scale of eons and universe, no measurable time has past. On the scale of chemical reactions, elements have spanned their lifetimes, creation, from ceasing to exist in billions and billions of reactions since that time. He wishes I hadn't grown up and discontent, hadn't become something lustful within the realm of conquest. We are complicated now, very different from the two dimensional characters of naive idealism.

Free write

I enjoy prose for prose. It's how I get through plotless novels. If you're saying something beautiful in an ugly way, like Bukowski, I'll listen. If you're filling the air with the grass and flowers of Ginsberg, even if you're not saying anything, I'll listen.

Only human, that's all he has left of his humanity.

My favorite muralist is Orozco.

From the grey nothingness we are born and into the obscurity of death we fade. The twisted between is something of a monotonous brilliance.

Free write- 10/6, 10/13/09

"Bare feet invite trouble." It is both a warning and a mantra of hope, "let there be adventure." My mom is ashamed of my wanderers feet. While they are not hobbits, she is horrified my calloused feet will ever appear in public in high heels without a professional pedicure, but this is not for me. From the very first day of spring, crossing vast expanses of grassy neighborhoods to visit a friend, to the frozen fall evening of barefoot bear wrestling, shoes are worn with dread. Unfortunately, until the warm winds beckon again, I'll stick to wearing my socks.

Kill all the humans. Nobody will get hurt and the world will be safe.

I love nerds. I'm not cool enough for anything more and get bored with anything less. I've been promised the stars and seen my fair share of them.

Suddenly, college diversity essays got a lot harder. Pronouns were the first to go, followed by pesky adjectives like "lanky, brunette, exceptional..." Capitalism was undermined; Everybody cheered until nobody wanted to be a farmer. Society began collapsing like a chandelier sprung loose in silent fall, with a crash of great orchestration.

Free write

a broken down lawn mower covered in grass
electrical lines in Lancaster
Conservatives who don't support women's choice until they have an accident
a fatty eating a whole tub of low fat ice cream
vegetarians wearing leather
Andy Dick sexually assaulting a girl
war to end war
hypocrisy is ironic
Titanic, the unsinkable ship, went down on its maiden voyage
woman crashing her car
squeaky sneakers
Yuri Gagarin dying in a plane crash
English teacher using bad grammar

All of the Possible Fears in the Whole World

heights-water-sharks-spiders-barking dogs-failure-being left all alone despite trying to have a fulfilling life- the people you love will die a sad painful untimely death - old age- death to your own, physical body- that you will trip and fall in front of people and they will laugh even though it hurts a little- that you or a loved one will being a continuous pain- you will be poor and hungry on the streets- fear that you will suddenly lose the ability to understand people - fear of abandonment- being robbed by a black man- being violated- rape-black people-big words-you'll forget your lines or your speech in front of a big crowd- lions-tigers-wild beasties-the unknown-things that are different from you- that sociable, upper class women will make fun of your fashion- rejection after you expose yourself to someone who you care about and you hope they will not hurt you--you will get mad at someone you love and then that night something very terrible will happen to them and you will never be able to ask forgiveness or tell them you love them - being buried alive- bad omens-losing your hair- getting cancer or something other terrible, wasting disease that will allow you to witness your own decay before death- zombies- curses- werewolves-vampires-rabies-bats-that you will be obsessed by something and it will drive you mad-needles-hospitals-science-drowning