"Do you have any idea what happened to us? Because it hurts to lie in my bed and know you loved me here and that so soon you were gone. If there isn't an explanation I'll be sleeping shitty anyway, but I can't stop thinking about you. :\"
"I don't know. I just sort of got to the point where I was always irritated about something. I let things get to me I guess."
It did hurt to know that Saturday night he held me in my bed and told me he "loved me so much," and that by Wednesday he would not even say goodnight. But somehow, I'm not as sad as I thought I would be. There are an endless number of adorable or exciting memories I've shared with him, but it doesn't really hurt to think about them. I lied when I said I wouldn't sleep well. I've been having some of the longest, most vivid dreams of recent times. Dave's not in them, or not for long. In two of the dreams I've asked where he was, because his missing presence is noted, but I'm not sad about it. On my walk to Viv's then to Gina's I remembered every time we'd talked or laughed or noted something about the walk, or how I would sing on my way to see him after midnight. And I laughed and smiled the whole time, it was fun. I've actually got some really important memories, some really badass stories about Garnet Valley. Now that I've grown to appreciate the layout, and how close things really are, and how mobile I can be just walking, I realize I've found stunning beauty in Garnet Valley. Now I can sound impressive and wild. At BYC I got picked up and let go by the fuzz. More than once I've snuck out of my house after midnight. And one time, I spent so long in the Darlington Arts Parking lot staring at the stars that I watched the moon set. I've scared ducks and sucked cock at the Newlin Grist Mill. Twice I've gone down the Brandywine on a plastic, inflatable, whale pool toy named Shamu. My friends have a.) rallied my spirits and comforts b.) been a bitch, but that's ok. Other than the fucking up math class thing, it's been a year worthy of '06-'07.
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