Dave and I see each other quite a lot in school, though it is under forced academic association and awkward hallway ignorances. Our outward attitudes lean significantly towards indifference and when required, blank attention. However, there are instances I forget that's how I'm supposed to be. If I do not think about it, I honestly feel splendid and tend to show it. Skipping and subtle dance moves occasionally interrupt my walking, laughter and giggling my speech, and repressed smiles my face. Yet on one occasion in particular, I was skipping with delight at the additions to my 2009 New Year's Resolution, and passed his lunch table. I was instantly struck by his nearness and slightly faltered in my step. Should I be skipping in front of him? Does he think this is on purpose? I don't want him to think I've moved on... He shouldn't have noticed, but still. The skipping continued, as did the train of thought.
Monday in Biology, he was visibly and through complaint, audibly, sick. It hurt wishing it was in my appropriate response to bring him Jell-O and Gatorade. Sunday, on solstice, it will have been a month since it became inappropriate. I knew what I was going to get him for Christmas. Hopefully I'll get my song lyrics before the new year begins. If it's not hand written, I don't think it will mean as much. I feel terrible to ask him, but would be scared and subversive to leave a note. Maybe some compromise will present itself. :\
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