"In the real world, you must wear shoes."

The future feels very near, as if the summer sun will set and rise in autumn again in an instant and my memories won't stick. This summer will never match my perfect summer, but goddamn will I try. Strangely, in looking to the future, it is juxtaposed with the past. Last year I discovered freedom of movement. I can bike or walk anywhere I want. There are planes, trains, and automobiles for everything else. Unfortunately, I never have a destination. It's all for the point of walking. Maybe I'll branch out. As graduation draws ever closer and I'm scared that my grip on Molly is loosening and I will lose her. I know that won't happen, but it's still an anxiety that creeps upon me in the mornings when I am with Jimmy and not talking to her. He wrote me a letter more touching and absolutely heart wrenching than anything ever said about me. Reading it makes me tear up. I simultaneously feel like a good and wicked person. I wrote a reply love poem to Kevin V. in English class, but of course, he wasn't my inspiration. However, he is writing a response to my reply. The school year drawing to a close forces me to look at my preparations for college and lack thereof. My first SATs are in June, I have no SAT IIs yet, and my only As this semester are in gym. The rest are Cs, not even Bs. Hopefully my AP scores will validate me, but I think that all I can hope for are 4s. I didn't get into AP Calc, so I'm taking Topics and art classes. Right now it looks like I won't be in the same classes as the people I've shared classrooms with for 4 years. Maybe bungling my schedule around will manage to get me into the right courses, but somehow I doubt it. My mind has been preoccupied with personal matters and I've been crying a lot. I tear up so easily in this new year. I want to be colder. I miss logic so much. In contrast, I miss art even more.

If the real world requires me to wear shoes, I hope I never wake up from this adolescent dream.