Hummus

I miss the days when crushes were only mentioned in secret code words and thrown about like inside jokes.

Yellow. Doctor. Good vibrations... All accompanied by a raise of the eyebrow and a poking intonation.

Back then, I wouldn't even have known what to do if a crush was returned. "Like, I dunno. Do we hold hands? I don't really know if I'd want to kiss him necessarily..."

Now everything is much more straightforward, and there really aren't crushes. "Eh, I like him and all, but we'd never date. Oh, yeah, I sucked his dick, but it didn't mean anything."

Last night reminded me of that time when I giggled to even utter the word boner, and it was the most electric thrill to kiss the boy I liked.

I keep telling myself that the next time I find a boy to love, I won't mess it up by fooling around.