A State Patty's Day Story

I was grateful to catch a ride with Bubba up to PSU this weekend. All the return bus tickets for less than $20 had been booked two weeks ago, and it was mostly by chance that I wound up going. We left Friday night after classes and picking up Alexis. Besides early navigational troubles, the ride up went smoothly, with a solid hour or so of belting Lady Gaga and Katy Perry at the end. Initially, the plan was to play "My Cows" for the duration, but a very solid darkness allowed for only one cow spotting, and even that one was under investigation. It was promptly drowned.

Hortense's birthday party was buckets of fun and the whitest party I'd ever been to. After leaving around 12, we wandered over to the McDonald's on College Ave. for the greatest drunk watching experience of my life. At 12:30 am, the place was mobbed with both staffers and students. The ordering system is the most efficient thing I've ever seen, though a number of the too-far-gones are incapable of its navigation. A student orders, a number is written on their receipt, and numbers are constantly shouted out to claim your prize. It was something to behold. Matt saw two cars pulled over for driving the wrong way. What a terrifying celebration.

Saturday afternoon, we got lunch with Matt and his parents, as Jackie was running that day at some level of state finals. It was good to catch up with them, though I'm sure we'll visit again next week on break. We followed up lunch with stencil shenanigans, then I walked over to Lauren's dorm for a surprise Skype date with Kim. Two hours later, Lauren and I met Melissa at the Creamery to induct me into the Penn State ritual. We caught up some and agreed to reunite later for dinner. During the in between, I roughly passed out on Lauren's bed for lack of sleep and woke up in time for food. Melissa has a great group of friends, and dinner made it feel like we were the drunk ones for all of the laughter. Returning to Matt and Jeff, we ventured over to the a capella show for a two and a half hour sing-a-thon. The venturing was part of the fun. Matt's parents send him "silly hats" in his care packages. These hats are exceptionally silly. 6' 4" Matt wore a green top hat that added another 12 inches of height with a beard attached that added at least 12 inches of length. Jeff wore a roasted turkey hat, and I had a spikey rainbow thing courtesy of Haley. Post-a capella, we were heckled all the way down College Ave. until arriving at The Diner, at which point Matt was identified by an intoxicated student as Honest Abe. Nice try. My "dollar per slice" bacon was definitely worth it, and after which we dispersed for bed.

Sunday was generally lazy, catching brunch with Matt and Tarik then heading out. I slept on the ride home, waking up to Bitches Ain't Shit and drowning some muckaluckas cows. It was good.




~I wonder how many inside jokes Randall Munroe has referenced in order to make his friends feel special that he specifically alluded to them in his internationally read comic.