When did I become so fearful and judgmental? Sometimes, I feel there is nothing worthwhile in my thoughts- there's nothing of substance. I can't remember how to get to know someone. I have an excruciating fake laugh and even a fake voice, depending on who I'm with. What use are my thoughts if they're undirected and with nothing to show or speak of them?
Despite these anxious feelings, today was wonderful. I "tutored" Jackie. Walked barefoot in the Grist Mill. Finished The Fountainhead. Took a nap in the hammock. Watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Pt. 1) with Melissa, Matt, and Krissy.
What kind of a treadmill do I need to feel satisfied? I don't have anything to show for the past year that I'm proud of, but I was wholesomely content with the routine. If it weren't for stories, I don't know where I'd be.
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