Recently

I went to one of Hetty's battle practices today. I had a lot of fun and got to see Dan who I haven't seen since prom for a total of two minutes.

I got creeped on and hit on in a creepy way. The second was flattering.

I was talking to Christian via Facebook chat about my status "...is frustrated with her clitoris," and he determined it is time to get me "layed." That was preceeded by me sharing all of my deepest darkest past that I sorta thought he knew, but he thought I fucked Dave, so apparently not, but whatever, because I told him the straight shimmy, but anway, THAT was followed by him realizing that the solution is to get Dave to fuck me, and then me Facebook chatting Dave, opening with the lines,
Hey
I gotta question
Do you want to fuck?

He said "uh" "not really" "I appreciate the bluntness though i really do"

The rest of the conversation was significantly less awkward, though by then my adrenaline was crashing and I wanted to go to bed. It was scarier than riding the roller coasters I hate. I made Christian psyche me out and I listened to Gonna Fly Now in my head before the chat. Also, I am scared and embarrassed to be near Dave in real life, so that wouldn't have worked, even if I really want it to.

Jeff and I visited Viv tonight. I missed her sooooooo much. She is hilarious and silly and we are probably going to see 500 Days of Summer this week and go tubing. Yo, e'rybody, tubing on Tuesday?

Jeff and I sorta kinda have a thing where we care deeply about each other as friends, but also sorta kinda romantically? But I don't want it to be secret because there's nothing there and not going to be anything and I feel really subversive about it and had a nightmare where I couldn't explain to Gina.

In the birthday present Abby got me, Wreck this Journal, there is a page for criticism. I wrote down one bad thought about everybody. Except Molly, apparently, because there's absolutely nothing I dislike about her except I don't see her all the time. Oh, and we didn't go to California. Take that, hoebag.

I kinda wish my stereotype was slut, rather than dork or nerd, which I assume it currently is. Unfortunately, I think even if I slept around, that it would hard for my good image to be tarnished unless I somehow convinced the nerds to sleep with me too.

Even after every talent and gift I have, I still wish I could sing.

"We are just kings on a chessboard painted pink and blue..."

I don't want to be in a relationship with Matt, I simply don't have the romantic feelings. But, I still want to spend a large portion of my time with him and am, to a reasonable degree, jealous of Brianna because their time together is not sparce and awkward.

I should be playing guitar or mandolin, right now.

You bitches should post things, so I can read things. Or we should just all hang out so you guys have stuff to write about.

I miss Hannah's blog. (But band camp is starting soon!)

I am excited for band camp and being a section leader (but mostly only the title and having a freshman buddy for the second).

10 months without an orgasm.

Uh... yeah. I'll probably hang out with Fava sometime after he gets back from wherever he is, even though I had two other offers to fix the previous problem.