I'm tired of waiting, being rational, and a tiny bit jealous that I will not give my virginity to a virgin. Of course, I understand. The most logical part of me says, "There is no especially significant difference between 1 & 2. It should be the decision to have to sex that should be respected and appreciated, not which time it is." This applies not just to my choice to have sex, but whatever partners I choose. I made a list of pros and cons factoring in numerous variables on whether or not to have sex. It's getting harder and harder to rationalize waiting when immensely pleasurable options keep presenting themselves. In the terms of How We Decide, I will react to a dopamine release in anticipation of immediate gratification rather than processing the decision with my frontal cortex. However, one of very many variables is that I realize that I am "not in my normal state" after the breakup with Jimmy, even if I don't consciously feel it. Frankly, nothing much has been normal, and I'm having fun in the chaos.
Aside spawned by that last line: For those I haven't talked to in a while: I have slowly and not accidentally moved away from the group, with a little bit of pushing. I understand my cause of the distance, and I'll come back. Right now, however, I'm very much enjoying the change of scenery.
Clarification of Aside: Above does not apply to Trisha, who I miss.
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