My past few nights have been unreasonable. Dreams have been blooming something lovely, but waking thoughts- fairly on the emotional feminine side. Occasionally, it's that gorgeous rush of full body infatuation, the kind that gets me all tingly. Other times it's a rush of gorgeous bodies, the kind that gets me all hot and uppity. Besides those two exceptions, which are admittedly frequent, it's waves of uncertainty. In six months, my laptop will be gone. My guitar and my record player will also not be here. Most importantly, I will not be here. What will I be like then? Sometimes I get caught up in the detail- flashes of butterfly kisses and denim on skin and little pink scars. Other times I make spider webs of Markov chains, a most likely future, a future I can guarantee, a future that won't hurt. It's unreasonable. Logically, rationally, live momentously. Reflect pleasantly on warm moments, but don't question the moments that are yet to be, or how drawn out that future is.
Found out today it wasn't the guitar string, it was the guitar.
Liberal Fascism kinda sucks, not because of the bias, but because the author is unfocused.
I got a pen pal. I think. It was thrown out half-joking in casual conversation, but damn if I'll hold her to it.
Saw Shannon in the hallway. Waved and smiled genuinely.
Saw Alexa in the hallway. Pretended I didn't.
Siblings of exes and exes of siblings have a very similar sort of reverence to them.
"How am I supposed to pretend I never want to see you again?" Lawd, boy's an asshole. All right, everyone of them, "gonna grow up to be a good kid." Damn the cookies we ate together! I could've kissed him, and I didn't! Thought about it though. He used to make me so deliciously unreasonable. I hate his memes, of all unreasonable things to hate. Alas! Such is the way of life.
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