The next time a guitar string breaks I'll paint the body.

I don't have a face for emotional strain.

For whatever reason, people see fit to give me an overabundance of fancy, black lady-gloves. They're totally non-functioning against the cold. I'm gonna have to start committing crimes to put them to use.

I wish American politics had a satirical political party. There are countries out there with more than one party competing for the silly vote. Seriously.

At this moment, I may possibly have the best series of Wiki articles I've ever had open at the same time. It's been a wonderful night.