Dog

I'm getting a dog. A beautiful Chow mix named Holly who doesn't have any personality "defects" other than she growls at neighbors and doesn't like her nails clipped. And yet, I don't really want her. I feel like it's irresponsible because I don't think we can care or pay for it. I'm scared because I'm scared, because I am supposed to be the child hopelessly begging for a dog, and my mom the responsible one who denies me. I'm worried about her because the pain meds have been making her less mentally accountable and it's so scary driving with her. She's a lot meaner and far less lucid.

I miss her sometimes and I was going to watch reruns of Law & Order with her and tell her I loved her, but then I was so annoyed I forgot. That makes me feel like a bad daughter.