A Wonderful Evening

We watched Romeo + Juliet starring Leonardo DiCaprio and I sat next to Dave. Nicki's vegan brownies were amazing, even if they were falling apart for lack of eggs. Hetty's rice was very flavorful and delicious. The pizza was pizza and the Shirley Temples were feminine. The Roy Rogers were slightly less so, but I'm the only one who had one.

The movie is outrageously, horrifyingly bad with some great comedy scenes and lack of continuity when referring to the various wounds inflicted on various characters, specifically Leo. Several things aren't remotely convincing, including the acting of Juliet and even some of the Shakespearean text. Many scenes are absolutely incomprehensible, but that doesn't matter because the movie would be excellent to watch even if it was muted.

After the movie we walked my dog. Then returned her to the house and took a much longer walk to the edge of River Road Park where the girls went swinging and the boys talked about how painful the slides were and how viscous "Barney" looked. We talked about our skinny dipping the previous night as the only girls there had in fact been naked and made plans for a day trip to a nude beach in New Jersey.

We went back, the girls linked arms and skipped home taking up the entirety of the street. We watched my brother play GTA4 for a little while longer. Dave played, I replied to Ceci on Facebook and then we left for the 8:20 showing of WANTED at Regal. Dave and I played House of the Dead II and commented on the improbability and hilarious-ity of the zombies and dialog. It was perfect timing because when we went to the theatre, we got there just as a commercial for Vitamin Water came on and Dave recognized Carrie Underwood after a one second glimpse.

Preview Time! Sadly the preview for Batman: The Dark Knight was silent, so Dave made up his own preview for it. "Oh no! They're jumping off the building!" "Did you hear that guy jumped off a building?" "I jumped off a building once." "ORLY?" "I'M JUMPING OFF A BUILDING!!!!" "Morgan Freeman." "BOOM!!" "rat-a-tat." After watching all the previews, if I wasn't going to be broke, I'd have a movie to go see every weekend until the end of the summer. Hancock, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, Batman: The Dark Knight, The X-Files Movie: I Want to Believe, and there's definitely something the first week of August. The lights are dimming! Time for the movie!

It opens with someone who looks vaguely like Alec Baldwin being shot at, jumping across one building to another, killing some men with guns, then being gunned down in the most impossible shot. Then it switches to our protagonist, Wesley Gibson, being boring, explaining his best friend is fucking his girlfriend, his boss is a fat bitch, he suffers from panic attacks, and that he's broke. He meets hottie Angelina Jolie in a pharmacy and is shot at by the unknown assassin who killed his father. Enthralling car chase with ridiculous barricade flip ensues and they escape and Wesley wakes up in an empty warehouse with Morgan Freeman and other frightening characters. He shoots the wings off some flies, freak out, leaves, and goes back to his boring job. He thinks it was all a dream until there's a gun on his belt and $3 million in his bank account. He tells off his fat boss and slams his ex-BFF with an ergonomic keyboard with a lovely "FUCK YO[tooth]" flying in slow-mo across the screen. He goes back to the assassins and gets trained in a castle in the middle of a metropolis city to become the the best assassin ever with the power to take out the arch-enemy of the Fraternity and the man who killed his father, Cross. Pretty BA, until everyone learns that what decides who they kill is some thread that got in an accident that turns into binary and gives names. Wow. Anti-climactic.

He gets one practice kills, learns some secrets about the foxy Fox, and then is led into an accidental cross town chase of his rival where accidentally shoots the Russian with vodka who likes rats. Very sad. He whispers as he dies, "Imagine, 1000 of them..." and fades out of life. Wesley gets shot with a traceable bullet and goes to Bavaria to face the man who killed his father, alone. Turns out Wesley's name was chosen by the thread to die. Fox has to kill him. Darn. They wind up on a train, action ensues, things get worse, he shoots his enemy who tried to save him. Winds up he just shot his father who went Rogue after discovering some secrets about the Fraternity, that the code had been broken. [Dave called it, wound up being 4 for 4 in the movie with guessing.] Fox comes to kill him and tells him it's all true, he shoots out a window and plunges at least sixty feet into water where he escapes and gets back to America. Turns out he's a hottie with a body now and the old guy who made the traceable bullet explains everything. Wesley has an epiphany after discovering his dad had 1000 rat bombs set up. He catches them, drives them to the factory, releases them, blows stuff up, and yet nobody dies and the factory is still in perfect working order? Oh well... He breaks through a window and proceeds to have the most adrenaline filled scene of shoot-outs, grabbing new guns, and all around being a badass. He kills the repairman and the guy with knives, then is led into the library where he is surrounded by assassins. Sloan comes out, Wesley reveals that Sloan's name was held in fate to be killed and has been making up kills for awhile now. Sloan says that all of the assassin's names have been drawn and that if they follow the code they should all commit suicide, and if they don't want to, they should shoot "that motherfucker." [YOU TELL 'EM MORGAN!!] The Gunsmith says "Fuck the Code," Fox goes incredibly BA and with one bullet that circles the room, kills all of the assassins and herself. [That was better than the bullet that supposedly killed Kennedy!] Wesley goes after Morgan Freeman. He escapes, Wesley is poor again and dirty. He goes back to his old job, typing away, not having a life, Sloan comes up behind him, HOLY CRAP! IT'S A DECOY! and from several miles away with an incredible shot Wesley snipes Sloan and Morgan Freeman's face is hilarious. The movie ends well and we all clapped.

The black guy's name was Common. Dave called that it was the black guy. It was a pretty good soundtrack too. It was a great night with some exhilarating txting later in the night. I'm crushin' on Dave and he's crushin' on me. We're playing it as it comes because I just like hanging out and talking so that's ok by me.

:D

Also, my brother had his skateboard resting on the back of some kids chair. The kid said, "I really love that your board is on the back of my head." "You should see the bottom of it, you'd love it even more!" Says Dave. "Aw," exclaim some girls. It was laughed off and everyone enjoyed the movie.