Hate Driving

Today was the first time in the history of Chloe that I would be driving alone. Before going to my mom's, I tried to calm down. I took deep breaths. I sat in the car and visualized what I was going to do. I felt not terrible, and it got a little better as I went. My park job wasn't so good when I got there, but I just backed up and had it perfect. Mom and I visited Laura and her mom on Brandywine Blvd. and craziest fucking thing, my roommate was there and recognized me from Facebook! I talked to her real quick, but she seems totally normal and easily got into a conversation with my mom. It was a lovely afternoon with many stories told and three bagels eaten. On the way back, we took 95. I felt alright with it. My mom didn't direct me as well as I would've hoped, but hey, I recovered.

THEN.

>:(

I got home, went on Facebook to grab Surya's address, and then my dad decided that we should watch the State Farm safety video. "Oh! Excellent!" I thought, "some driving tips from the people whose business it is to make money preventing accidents." It was this motherfucking video that's about killing everyone you've ever loved with your car and/or yourself. That's exactly the kind of stuff that runs through my head anyway and makes me not want to drive. So I almost cried during this 11 minute "DRIVING IS SCARY" video, then almost immediately left for the party. If I hadn't been so emotional, I would've remembered that being emotional is not a great state to drive in and/or to go through my calming down routine. Totally not confident, I made it to Surya's house. I had a good time. I was the only white girl there. The food was delicious. Hallelujah. As I went to leave, I figured I would stop by Nicki's before going to Kevin's. She wasn't home, and I reasoned that it was too much driving for one day and that I should go home. I didn't turn the wrong direction on 202. I didn't rear end somebody going to in Wawa, but as I drove, that movie was alternating between the back of my mind and the forefront of my focus. Not good. Finally. I was relieved to see my house. I made a very quick turn into the driveway because a car was coming, then went to turn into my parking spot and ouch. Hit my neighbor's car. I don't know why he parks in our driveway. I almost cried sitting in my car before I saw the damage. I thought that my dad probably heard it and would be running outside, but no. I locked up. I walked around the front of my car. I had entirely smashed my right headlight. Thankfully, his only has minor superficial damage to the front bumper, but still. I will no longer be able to drive. I am almost sort of relieved that I won't have to again.