"You have a good memory right? Like, you remember stuff. I like that about you. When I talk to you, you remember who I'm talking about, the stories continue into each other."

I didn't realize that this was a unique thing.


During the party on Friday, I walked up to Max and TA Jeff during the last word of their conversation. Jeff was having his lady friend over that night, and Max finished with, "...she's gonna come over, suck your dick, then fall asleep on the bed together!" With that, they noticed I had been in earshot. Jeff gave a "Max, in front of Chloe?" kind of look. It was endearing to me that they felt the need to protect my innocent ears. I fear that I am giving an innocent vibe. It will eventually benefit me to not have randomly hooked up with a band guy. I've never waited for a guy, and by that measure, I've never had a guy wait for me. I've never fucked a boyfriend. I don't have sensuous sex. The guys here don't have to know that. I can evoke tenderness. It'll take some work. It will take some resistance. I'll have to finally say "no," but in return, it will be under my power to finally choose, "yes."