Slatternly Trollop or Vainglorious Jezebel

Parties here make me feel pure and bright, much like the pit parties of another freshman year. It's a much stronger sensation now because I'm more self-aware. Being bright and joyous came naturally four years ago. For me, it persists. A friend recently confided that he's admired me for that, that in some odd way, he looks up to me. He asked that I never change. Of course, there will be wholly necessary developments to change me, but I profoundly hope that this current essence remains.

Early evening, rollin' up to the party, it's exciting to be welcomed into a place where I know nearly everyone and will meet more by the time I leave. There are moments when I double up in laughter, hear stories from a dark and terrible past, learn more about people I've recently met. Last night, I sang Britney Spears and Christmas carols. Again, my fabulous contact drunk conveyed the appearance of actual intoxication, but that merely impresses the people who are new to the fact of my abstinence. A number of people have expressed their undying appreciation for me during these drunken revelries. I expect they do not remember in the morning.

By the end of the night, there's a soft point where I wander a disconnect through the party. My friends who are sad drunks are sad. My friends who are otherwise are beyond the point of conversation. I've learned not to think about pit parties during this time.

I couldn't have ever imagined what it's like to be high, and I feel even less of a familiarity with the sensation of drunkenness. It's one of the few unknowns that would be more terrifying if it was pleasant.