OneSentences

These sentences are my favorites from OneSentence.org

The flutes could only watch the tenor saxophones and trombones brawl, and wish their instruments were bigger.

I stepped on a dandelion and cried for all the wishes that could have come true, if only I had taken the time to walk around.

I knew we were destined to fall in love when she told me she too was a big fan of zombie movies.

When sharing music becomes foreplay, you know you have something beautiful.

Bare feet invite trouble.

I was a Jedi until I got my boobs and then was told I had to be Princess Leia and wait to be rescued.

I wonder every day what it would be like to have achieved my childhood dreams, knowing it's impossible to grow up to be a kitten.

I was developing photos of a party my ex-girlfriend's father had hosted when it occurred to me that if she died, no one would tell me.

My speech actually ended with a mental "Screw you," to all the boys who would never screw me.

I am heart-sick because, like many parents of children with profound disabilities, my most secret and unspoken prayer is "Dear God, please let me outlive my child."

After Livejournal Strikeout '07, I realized that fangirls could easily be mobilized into a killing machine if you told them that the Iraqis took away their Harry Potter porn.

It wasn't until after prom that she told me I was the only guy who didn't bother her by having an erection when dancing with her.

Immediately after losing my virginity I had a vision of one endless sidewalk in summer illuminated by the afternoon sun.

I actually hug trees: Ponderosa Trees are my favorite because they smell of Vanilla mixed with Butterscotch.

Everything we touched turned into cupcakes.

There's a picture of you on my wall and sometimes I feel funny about getting naked in front of it.

Because my mother lost her faith while hiding in a circus during the Third Reich, I was raised a carnie brat, looking for true religion all over the world.

One day, our kids will look through old photo albums and say, "Hey, why did Mom go to prom with you AND Uncle Chris, especially since Uncle Chris likes BOYS?"

I suppose my life would have been different if I hadn't loved being naked when I was home alone, as an adolescent.

I knew I was out of my league when she used 'summer' as a verb.

Everybody always asks of us if we're dating, and it's the worst feeling in the world when I have to tell them no.

My mother, being enraged, screamed "You son of a bitch", to which I replied, "Yes, I am."

I won a plant today because there was a giraffe under my plate.

I decided not to give him my number when he asked "Yo girl, can I getcho digits?!"

The nudity requirement seemed like a fair way to decide who, of the party's 30+ attendees, would get to play the Wii.

A hooker stole my best friend's dog.